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doctor vs journalist
a journalist went to a mental hospital and asked a doctor,
journalist: “how do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
doctor: “well, we first fill a bathtub and give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.”
journalist: “yeah, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”
doctor: “no, a normal person would pull the drain plug, now will you please proceed to bed no.39.”
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Jan 2016
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happiness
what is happiness?
switching off the bathroom lights
just to annoy the person inside
Views : 194 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Jan 2016
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engineers buy ipl team
if engineers buy ipl team the names of the teams would be 1.rajasthan rectifiers 2.kolkata fuse wires 3.mumbai indicators 4.delhi bearings 5.deccan capacitors 6.chennai super conductors 7.bangalore backloggers 8.punjab p-n junctions
Views : 287 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Nov 2015
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great engineers thought
can u prove papa=mama?
ias-imposible! doctor-no! engineers start solving- f=ma p.a=ma on squaring, pa.pa=ma.ma
Views : 239 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Nov 2015
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engginering shyari
wo almari hi kya jisme rack nahi.. . wah-wah . wo almari hi kya jisme rack nahi.. . wah-wah . aur wo engginering hi kya jisme back nhi..!!
Views : 332 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Nov 2015
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great shyari
tairna hai to sagar ki laharon me tairo,
kinaron me kya rakkha hai !
mohabbat karana hai to vatan (mulk) se karo,
ladakiyon me kya rakkha hai !!
Views : 335 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Nov 2015
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An engineering Student
an engineering student went & proposed a
girl
girl : what can u do to make me love you ?
boy : i will do what ever u want, i will bring
stars from the sky, i will jump from where ever u say, i will
do anything for u.
girl : can u complete ur enggnrng without a
single back??
.
.
.
boy : chalta hu behan..... apna khyal rakhna ...
Views : 327 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Nov 2015
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santa-judge
santa :judge sahab, mujhe talaq chahiye
pichhle ek saal se meri biwi ne mujhse baat nahi ki.
judge :ek baar firse sochle, aisi biwi kismat se milti hai !!!
Views : 446 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband - wife
wife: if i removed da cook & make da food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?
husband: i don't hav 2 pay u, u will get my entire insurance amount
Views : 342 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
wife is great
man on his death bed confesses 2 his wife-i had an affair with ur sister, ur best frd & the maid.
wife : i know darling. now relax & let the poison work
Views : 340 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
wife: mein jab gaana gaati hoon
toh aap balcony mein kyon chale jate ho?
husband: taki kahin muhalle wale aisa na samjhe
ki mein tumara gala daba raha hoon
Views : 376 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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biwi shuhar
bivi shohar se : munna itni dair se ro raha hai magar tumhain fursat nahi kae isay thoori dair kae liye goud mein utha lo akhir mein esay dhaiz mein to nahi laai thi? shohar bhi ghusay se: tum to aisy keh rahi ho jaisay mein easy apna barati bana kar laya tha.
Views : 359 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
wife : look a thief has entered our kitchen
n he is eating d cake prepared by me
husband: whom should i cal
now police or ambulance
Views : 305 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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ek Dolatmand Admi
ek dolatmand admi shadeed bimaar tha,
jab is k akhiri lamhaat kareeb aye to doctorz ne jawab de dia,
his wife said:tum abhi nahi mar saktay,
khuda k liay abhi na maro.
martay huay shakhs ne jawab dia:begum mat ro,sabr kro,ab m??n chund lamhoon ka mehmaan hoon.
wife:nahi, , ,!
nahi, , ,!!!
tum aj mar kr mujhay zaleel nahi kr saktay,
mainay tumharay sog me pehnnay wala kala suit darzi ko silnay dia hai,jo mujhay kal milay ga ?
Views : 386 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
a small argument betwn a couple turns violent.
angry husband: do not let d animal in me cum out.
wife: who is scared of a mouse!
Views : 191 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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biwi shuhar
biwi(gusse mein) : tumhare dimaag me to sirf gobar hi bhara hai???!
shuhar(pyar se) : to phir itni der se kha kion rahi ho???.
Views : 389 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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wife - doctor
wife to doctor: doctor, i think my husband has a fearfull disease. i talk to him for hours and he doesn?t hear a word i say.
doctor: that?s not a disease, its a gift!
Views : 145 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband - wife
wife-kyu ji,
jab b me aapke
pas aati hu to aap chasma
pahen lete ho?
husband-doctor ne kaha hai
jab sir-dard aaye to
chasma pahen lena!
Views : 337 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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A Wife's prayer
a wife's prayer:
lord
give me wisdom to understand my husband
love to forgive him
patience with his moods
but
don-t give me strength
i will kill that bastard..
Views : 112 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
husband: i am going out for five days!
wife: ok but don-t surprise me by coming back early, otherwise u-ll be surprised.
Views : 194 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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pati patni
pati patni ghumne gaye.
raste mein gadha ghas kha raha tha.
patni: wo dekho tumhara rishtedar ghas kha raha hai. namaste karo.
pati: namaste sasurji
Views : 315 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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two friends
1st friend: my wife CONVERTed me to religion.
2nd friend: really?
1st friend: yes. until i married her i didnt believe in hell
Views : 126 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband - wife
husbnd : kya tumne mujhe kutta kaha?
no ans.
husbnd again asks, no ans.
then again he asks,
wife: nahi kaha.
please ab bhoka na bandh karo
Views : 296 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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very funny
1 sahab ki lottery main paris tour ka prize nikal aya.!
usne office say foran wife ko fone kiya or khushi say bola
darling !
mere sath paris chalogi ?
wife khushi say boli:-
han bilkul !
paris to 1 muddat say mere khwabon main basa hai.
main aap k sath zarur chalungi !
magar ap kon sahab bol rahe hain?
Views : 279 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
husband: hypnotise karna kya hota hy?
wife: kisi ko apnay control me kar k apni marzi k kaam karwaana
husband: chal jhoti,usay to shadi kehte hain
Views : 271 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband - wife
husband:
you know,
wife, our son got his brain from me.
wife: i think he did ,
i still got mine with me!
Views : 195 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne hello kiya,
wife nay pocha,?koun thi wo??
husband:-tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi yehi pochay gi.
Views : 315 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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husband - wife
wife: wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!
husband: wow! itni lambi celebration
Views : 267 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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shyari
arz kiya hai....
ishq karne se pahle ishq ka anjaam dekhlo
ishq karne se pahle ishq ka anjaam dekhlo
fir na samajh aye to film gajni aur tere naam dekhlo
Views : 263 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
boy girl
kanjus ki beti boyfriend se:-kal mere papa ne mujhe tumhare sath bike pe jate hue dekha.
boy(dar ke bola): phir?
girl:-phir kya, mujhse bus ka paise wapas le liye
Views : 277 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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nice
police-jab tumhare ghar chori huii tab kitne baje the. ram- mere pairo par do pet aur sar par ek ek laathi baji thi!
Views : 278 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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boy and girl
boy:i luv u..
girl:i hate u..
boy: why dis kolavery kolavery di?
why dis kolavery kolavery di?
girl:a baba, i luv u 2..!
but pahale ye gana band kr.!.!!
Views : 286 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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thought of the day
apna pyar jo nirma nahi phahle istmal karo fir viswas karo apna pyar to lic he jo zindgi ke shat bi zindgi ke bad bi
Views : 268 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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SANTA VS MASTEJI
masterji to santa
masterji-tum is samay bahut sararti ho gaye ho,mujhe tumhari sikayt krne tumhare ghar jana hai,btao tumhara ghar kaha hai?
santa-sir mera ghar dukan ke samne hai,
masteji-aur dukan kaha hai?
santa-sir mere ghar ke samne,
masterji,jor se gusse me.aur e dono kaha hai?
santa-sir aamne-samne
Views : 275 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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funny shyari
upar dekha to aasman nila ,
pani me gira to rumal gila ,
pyar to sabhi karte he,
par me karu to sala charactar dhila hai..
Views : 242 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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best dialog
durse dekha to sher najar aa raha tha darke mare me pas hi nahi gaya
Views : 232 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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Ek bar santa bank gya
ek bar santa bank me paise nikalne gaya casiar lady_ sab so so ke du to chalga na sir .
santa _o my god yaar kitthi soni kudi hai tu khade khade de to bhi chalega
Views : 240 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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Branded shirt
boy friend to girl friend- yu mat khich tu mujhe apni taraf ae sanam,
branded shirt hai, phat gayi to bahut mar khayegi ma kasam.
Views : 276 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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kunware
kunwaron se log puchhte hain ki tumhari ab tk shaadi kyon nahein huye.? kunware bhi jor se kahte hain.jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.
Views : 253 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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Bf and gf
gf: never waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value them.
bf: oh! yes never waste your money on someone who is going to be ur x
Views : 258 |
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Joke Posted on : 26 Oct 2015
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A Successful Doctor
a successful doctor
is one who knows
the art of keeping
the patient busy
in investigations
and prescriptions till
nature cures the disease
Views : 401 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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what is drinks
drinks
d-elicious aftr 1 peg
r-omantic aftr 2 peg
i-nterested aftr 3 peg
n-aughty aftr 4 peg
k-ing aftr 5 peg
s-nake aftr 6 peg.
cheers!!!
Views : 300 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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Heart Of Boys are Like a Temple
heart of boy are like a temple....
holy
truthful
pure
.
.
.
.
thats why,
when boys say..
i love you
.
.
.
.
.
girls remove their slippers.
Views : 264 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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true fact
never allow
a girl
to talk
too much
to you.!
else
later, she will
make you
talk alone..
love sucks!
Views : 249 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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funny shyari
tuje suraj kahu par usme aag hai,tuje chand kahu par usme dag hai,ji chahta hai tuje bandar kahdu,par sala usme b dimag hai
Views : 326 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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thought of the day
when a man opens the door of his car for his girlfriend,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the girlfriend
Views : 126 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Oct 2015
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santa-wife
santa darwaze pe gun liye khada tha,
uski patni ne pucha - why are you standing here,
santa- sher ke shikar pe ja raha hu
wife- to jao na
santa- kese jao bahar kutta khada hai
Views : 321 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
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santa banta
santa: jab insane ko zindage me koi problem hota kiske pas jana chaiye?
banta: kisan k pas
santa: kyu?
banta: kyoki kisan k pass hal hota hai.
Views : 283 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa banta
santa kafi time baad
usa se
vapis india aya to
banta usko
recieve karne gaya
airport se vo santa ko
leke
bahar nikla to santa
ne
sadak
se gili mitti uthayi aur
soongh ke
bola
santa: yaar bantya,
ap
apne
desh ki mitti ki khusbu
pahle
jaisi nahi rahi
banta gusse se: abe
oye
gadhe, tune mitti nahi
tatti uthai
hai
Views : 270 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
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santa-girl
santa college ki ladki se bola
i love u
ab tum muje bolo
girl: me abi ja k sir ko bolti hu
santa: pagli sir ko mt bol,
unki shadi ho gai h.
Views : 269 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa banta
banta: yaar santa,
agar maa ke kadmo me jannat hoti h to
naani ke kadmo me kya hoti hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
santa (thodi der sochne k baad): jannat-2
Views : 246 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
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teacher sardar
teacher- chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
sardar- neil amstrong
teacher- aur doosra?
sardar- teri maa ki
doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga
langda thodi tha woh.
Views : 312 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
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dada ji aur pota
dadaji: beta zara mere
daant
lana
pota: lekin abhi roti to
paki
nahi hai
dadaji: abe, roti ko mar
goli
samne wali
budiya smile de rahi
hai.
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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funny shayari
ye shayari likhna unka kaam nahi,
jinke dil aankhon mein basa karte hai
shayari toh voh sakhas likhte hai,
jo sharab se nahi, kalam se nasha karte hai…
Views : 282 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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If Bollywood Movies Were Directed In Pubs & Bars
if bollywood movies were directed in pubs & bars:
1. sita aur margarita
2. corona pyaar hai
3. soda akbar
4. rab ne pila di thodi
5. rum whiskey se kam nahi
6. rum de basanti
7. hum tight ho chuke sanam
8. pissed out at lokhandwala
9. jo pilaye wahi bartender
10. rum maaro rum
11. beer zaara
12. bev-d
13. beer belly
14. gin na milegi dubara
Views : 251 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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child - god
child: god. plz i don't want 3rd world war.
god: why? do u luv ur country so much?child:
no god. i'm weak in history...!i can't study another war...
Views : 119 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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santa-jeeto
jeeto: u know, husband wife aren't allowed to be together in heaven
santa: yes, i do.that's why it's called heaven!
Views : 99 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband wife
wife: i hate da beggar who came yesterday!
husband: y?
wife: i gave him food yesterday n 2day he gifted me book how 2 cook!!
Views : 192 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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boss-santa
boss: tumhara janam kahan hua tha..?
sardar-tiruvanantpuram mein...
boss: spelling batao ?
sardar: mazak kar raha hun, goa me hua tha.
Views : 275 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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son papa
papa-ye kya tumhare maths me 1marks aaya hai
son-jab irado me ho dugni chamak to hoslo me q nhi
:
papa- wat?
sirf 2 zero ka fark hai papa aa jayenge...........
Views : 288 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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rajnikant shayari
rajinikanth shayari....
barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum wah wah
barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum wah wah
are aage kya hua?
hona kya tharajnikant ne phoonk mari aur sukh gaye hum.
Views : 268 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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professor-santa.
professor:chemical symbol of barium?
santa: ba
professor:for sodium?
santa: na
professor:what will we get if 1 atom of ba& 2 atoms of na combined?
santa: banana
Views : 97 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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theory of motion
theory of motion santa badly wanted to be known as a great man. so
after long research he made a new addition to newton’s law. and was
awarded the 2010 nobel prize for his new theory of motion
and it says
..... loose motion can never be done in slow motion
Views : 101 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa
k ghar navjot singh siddhu ki tasvir lagi hui thi.
banta: ye kyon laga
rakhi hai?
santa: laughing buddha lene gaya tha.dukandar ne kaha ye
latest hai.
Views : 256 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
harry potter
1 day rajnikanth got angry on his sweeper boy..
he kicked him so hard that he went flyin in d sky wit his broom..
today that boy is famous as harry potter
Views : 394 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
girl boy
boy: do you love me....??
girl: yes...
boy: starts running
girl: where are you going....??
boy: i'm going to update my relationship status on facebook..... !!
Views : 429 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
rajanikanth vs santa
teacher: what's half of 8?
rajinikanth: 4
santa: depend karta hai agar horizontally half karo to 0 and vertically karo to 3... 4 is the first time in history.
Views : 354 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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dadi - pota
pota - daadi aapne kon-kon se desh ghume hai...
dadi - beta pakistan hindustan aur afganistan...
pota - ab aap kaha ghumne jaogi??
piche se dada bola - kabristaan
Views : 358 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
latest news
guys latest news...
rajnikant warnd evry1 to stop jokes on him..
otherwise...
....
.
.
.
.
.
he'll delete internet..
Views : 287 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Oct 2015
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Best ad by an AC company
best ad by an ac company-
buy acs because the youth of today are COMMITting suicides using fans!
Views : 98 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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santa-pappu
santa: dear son, this time you have to get at least 95\\% marks.
pappu: no dad, i will get 100\\% this time. santa: why are u making a joke..
pappu: who started first..
Views : 114 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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shayari
shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi, tajmahal bana tha per mumtaz mili nahi, ab kismat khuli, shadi hue, ab tajmahal banana chahta hon,per ya mumtaz marti nahi!
Views : 249 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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very funny
today is the death anniversary of superman
so, in his remembrance, plz wear a red underwear on top of ur pant n fly around ur room in silence for 1 minute..
Views : 101 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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tongue Twister
tongue twister :
she offered him honour..
he honoured her offer..
& then..
the whole night..
in honour of her offer..
he was onher, offher
Views : 111 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Dad-Daughter
daughter- i am in love with neighbour,so i am running away with him.
dad- thanks dear,u hav saved money & time.
daugter- dad! i am reading dis letter left by mom!
Views : 95 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Scientific Joke
ultimate scientific joke:
what will u call 2nd and 3rd editions of nano car..
sodium nitrite and n sodium nitrate!
because it will be
nano2 & nano3
Views : 97 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
Husband went to abroad for 15 days
husband went to abroad for 15 days.
wife: darling its 15 days now. when will u come back.. i am half-dead.
husband: half-dead! ok then i will come after 15 days.
Views : 195 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
Rajanikant is remaking TITANIC with some changes.
rajanikant is remaking titanic with some changes...
in the end he doesnt die but swims across the ocean wth heroine in 1 hand and
titanic on the other hand..
Views : 348 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Once their was a fight between me and the tiger.
once their was a fight between me and the tiger.
i ran away
to save the tiger
because their only 1411 tiger left.
Views : 247 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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ATTIDUDE
attidude
i dont have any girl frnd it doesn-t mean that i am afraid of proposing a girl but i am scared that wat if she says yes
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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about girls
girl are like a internet virus: they enter ur life, scan ur pockets, edit ur mind, download problems and delete ur happiness.. issued in public interest, so avoid girls
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Sardar wrote a letter to BillGates
sardar wrote a letter to billgates: sir i have sum questns 2 ask
1)d keys on d keyboard are not in order, wen wil u release the correctd versin..
2)der is start buttn bt no stop button. why so..
3)we learnt ms word, wen wil u release ms sentence..
finally a personal question. why is ur name gates, even though u sell windows..
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Girls Status on facebook
girls status on facebook : feeling sad
17021 comments
guys status : goin 2 suicide
2 likes
and
1 comment which reads dude whos gonna use ur bike nw.
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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god
god made man and then rested. god made women and then no one rested
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Technology Impact
technology impact:
dad emails:
dear son,
how hav u been..
ur mom & i are fine & we miss u a lot..
plz turnoff ur pc & come downstairs for dinner.
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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When I was born
when i was born devil said…oh shit!!! another god!!!..& when u were born devil said …oh shit!!!!competition…!!!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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teacher-student
teacher: where is everest..
student: i don kno..
teacher: u stand on the desk!
student: stil cannot see ma-am
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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thought of the day
if u don-t have a girlfriend
u wil miss something in life..
& if u have a gf then u will miss evering thing in life
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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BUDUK BUDUK
do u know how titanic sunk.. . .
.
.
.
buduk
buduk
buduk..
gulum..
gulu gulu gulu
puchik!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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BILLIONARE
can a girl make u a millionare..
yes !
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
conditions apply:
u must be a billionare
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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An aeroplane asks to a rocke
an aeroplane asks to a rocket: how is that you can fly so fast..
the rocket replies you will know the pain when they put fire at your ass!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Grammar Teacher vs student
grammar teacher : peter does not flirt with women.
what is peter in the sentence..
student: maam,peter is gay..
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Cloromint
pata hai aap cloromint kyu khati ho..
qki
5-star
cadbury
park
dairymilk
kit-kat
or
munch
50 paise me nahi aati.
haha
ab dubara mat puchna!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Munna-Circuit
munna:circuit yar barish k waqt bijali kyu chamkti he
circuit:bhai boleto uparwala torch maar k dekhta ho ga ki kahi sala sukha to nahi rehgaya
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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LAZIEST inventor
who do you think is the laziest inventor of all times..
it-s the guy who invented the snooze in an alarm
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: oye yaar! agar electricity nahi hoti to kya hota..
banta: kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light me t.v dekhna padta…
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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jai hind
love the lady
but dont touch
the body
if u touch the body
u become a daddy
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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A boy touched his girl friend
a boy touched his girl friend..
girl said..don-t touch me..all dat only after marriage..
boy said : ok .
call me after your marriage!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Smile
smile is cheaper then electricity,
but gives more light to your life...
so, always smile and prove that,
u r d bst tubelight!
ha.ha.ha
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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A little bird
a little bird was flying in winter.the bird froze and afell to ground. a cow came by & dropped some dung ona it.bird began 2 realize how warm it was & soon began to sing for joy.a passing cat heard the bird singing & dug him out & ate him.
lessons to learn !
1. not everyone who drops shit on u is ur enemy.
2. not everyone who gets u out of shit is ur friend.
3. when you-re in deep shit, keep ur mouth shut!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Oct 2015
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Ek baar SANTA apni bimaar maa
ek baar santa apni bimaar maa ko doctor k pass lekar gaya
doctor :- sabse pehle apki maa k kuch test honge!!
santa :- are baap re meri maa to anpadh hai
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa sarab pee kr k skutar chalata h
santa sharab pi k scuter se 1 arthi se tkra gya
dead body gir gyi,
log snta ko pitne lge..
santa -abe jo gira h vo to kuch bol ni rha
tum kahe neta ban rhe ho.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa aur aadmi
1 aadmi akhrot bech raha tha.
santa ne poocha - ye khane se kya hota hai ?
aadmi - dimagh tez hotahai
santa : kaise?
aadmi : acchha ye batao 1 kilo chaawal me kitne daane hote hain ?
santa : pata naheen..
aadmi ne usko aek akhrot khilaya.
aur bola: batao 1darzan me kitne kele hote hai ?
santa : 12
aadmi : dekha , dimaag tez hua na ...
santa : 1 kilo de do...
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa in LPG queue
santa in lpg queue:
cylinder ki lambi line dekh santa gusse me bola - abhi jake desh k netao ko joote mar ke aata hu
kuchh der baad wo wapas line mein laga.
banta ne puchha - joote maar diye kya?
santa - waha iss say bhi lambi line lagi hai..
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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meri ahmiyat
maana k teri nazar mein kuch bhi nahi hu main
meri ahmiyat unse puch.
jinke maine paise dene hain
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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reality of girl friend
main chahe bhai se ladungi, maa-baap se ladungi,
rishtedaaro se ladungi, padosi ke kutte se ladungi, par
ghussa aa k tumpe hi utarungi jaan
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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ek anokha sawaal
ek anokha sawaal:
agar tension ka talluk dimaag se
hai,
to heart attck q aata hai ?
aur
agar love ka taalluk dil se hai,
to pyaar me log pagal q hote.!
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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true lines
true lines
bachpan me ham waha sona pasand karte the jaha se chand tare dikhe. .
aur aaj waha jaha charger laga sake.
aisa nhi k ye zindgi buri hai,
par school or clg life ki baat kuch or thi
aisa nhi k ab hasi nhi aati,
par dosto me beth kr khilkhilane wali bat kuch or thi
aisa nhi k ab tension se raat nhi guzarti,
par exams ki raato me jagne wali bat kuch or thi.
aisa nhi k aage aa kr kuch hasil na kiya ho,
par passing marks le kr party udane wali bat kuch or
thi.
aisa nhi h ki ab logo ko jante pehchante nahi,
but woh duur se 'kamine rukk' bolke dost ko awaz dene ki baat hi kuch aur thi
aisa nahi hai ki ab tiffin share nahi karte,
but canteen mein kisi aur ke plate se cheen ke khane ki baat kuch aur thi
aisa nhi k ab zindgi nhi kat rhi hai,
par dosto me zindgi jjine ki bat hi kuch or thi
dedicated to all friends
for your busy scedule in your job n busines
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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tooth brush
jinke paas hai..
woh haath me leke hilate hai,
jinke paas nahi hai..
woh ungli dalke kam chalate hai
bolo kya?
dirty mind …… it is ….. tooth brush
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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friendship
girlfriend is hot water,
lover is mineral water,
wife is corporation water,
relationship is kaveri water,
but friendship is pure rain
water!!!
so guys plz... respect your friends.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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me watching tv alone
me watching tv alone.!!
ads: cycle agarbatti, maggi, noodles, ultratech
cement, etc etc
suddenly parents enter.!!
ads: manforce condms, whisper choice, set
wet very very sxy etc
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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sanjay dutt
after seeing sanjay dutt on parole of 14 days my mom asked me, dekho jail mein bhi chhutti milti hai
tum kis company mein kaam karte ho jaha koi chhutti nahi milti.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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strange line
strange lines, but its true
ek phoolwale ki dukan ke board par likha tha
insaan ko apni jindagi ke har raaste par jeet chahiye
lekin
wo mere pass aakar haar mangta hai.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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indian logic
indian parents logic:
ghanta is a gali
and
babaji ka thullu is not
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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basmati rice
agar aap aur aapke life partner hamesha khush aur sukhi jeevan bitana chahte hain to
istemaal kre
kohinoor
basmati rice
acha khaoge tabhi to achha soch paoge.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer
what is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer....
a good lawyer knows the law well &; a great lawyer knows the judge very well
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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Best Punishment
best punishment dat u can give 2 male..
giv him a mobile with a
set of girls phone no.s &; put him
in a place where theres no netwrk
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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17century mom 2 her son
17century mom 2 her son
beta apne religion k ladkise shadi krna
18cntry-apne caste k
19cntry-apne level k
20cntry-apne desh
21cntry-koi bi par ladki se karna
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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re-tying the Lungi..
why is industrial growth so slow in tamilnadu & kerala..
coz 86\\% of the work time is spent on lifting,folding, holding & re-tying the lungi..
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
A man in USA saw a dog attacking a lady
a man in usa saw a dog attacking a lady, he kicked the dog - it died.
newspaper reported: local hero saved lady from a crazy dog!
man said, i am not american
report changed to: foreign hero saved lady from a crazy dog!
man said, actually i am pakistani
report changed to: terrorist killed an innocent dog
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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Santa ne mithai ki shop kholi
santa ne mithai ki shop kholi,
aur bahar 1 ishtihaar lagaya,
1 noukar ki zarurat hai
jisko
.
.
.
.
.
..
diabetes ho
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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1 Sardarni behosh ho gayi
1 sardarni behosh ho gayi.
doctor-ye mar gayi hai.
jb usko jalane lage to wo uth k boli-mai zinda hu!
sardar- chupchap padi reh, tu doctor se zyada janti hai kya!!!
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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Bhagwan tu muje 100 Rs dega to 50 tumhe chadhaunga
banta bola-
bhagwan tu muje 100 rs dega to 50 tumhe chadhaunga.
thodi dur pe usko 50 ka note mila.
banta- prabhu itna sa b bharosa nhi.
pehle hi kaat liya.
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
sardar told his friend, yaar 1 ladki mujko has k dekh rahi hai
kya karu..?
banta: pehle confrm kar, has k dekh rahi hai ya dekh k has rahi hai...
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa car ke pahiye khol raha tha.
banta: oye, pahiye kyun khol raha hae?
santa: anpadh ganwaar ! samne dekh likha hai- parking for 2 wheelars only !
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa-teacher
teacher - what is 'oxford,??
santa- teacher 'ox= bail, and 'ford=gadi,
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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santa-teacher
teacher - baccho jinda rehne ke liye hume kis cheej ki zaroorat hai??
santa- are maidem tina bhi nahi pata jinda rehne ke liye teri kasam 1 mulakat zaroori hai sanam...
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Joke Posted on : 16 Oct 2015
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1 car ki nilami ho rahi thi
1 car ki nilamii ho rahi thi
1lac,2lac,3lac,
santa shocked:is khatare me aisa kya he
seller:iske 10 accident hua he & har bar wife hi mari he
santa:8lac
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa: aao ji chess khelein
banta:tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aya
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Santa throw the butter out of the window?
santa throw the butter out of the window?
socho
.
.
because he wanted to see butterfly!
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
Boy-Girl
girl: agar is duniya ke sabi aurat ka ek hi face hota to kya hoga
boy: kuch nahi,gas cylinder ki tarah aj iske ghar jayegi
to kal uske ghar
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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SANTA-DOCTOR
santa-doctor sahab, yeh dawai sare shaher mein kahin bhi nhi mili.
doctor: arey, dawai to main likhna hi bhool gaya yeh toh mere sign hai.
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-teacher
teacher.jawani aur budhape men faraq batao
santa;jawani men mobile men haseeno ke numbar hute hai aur budhape men hakeemo ke
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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SANTA-DOCTOR
sante ke sar se khoon beh raha tha
doctor:ye kaise hua?
santa:me apne haath se pathar thod raha tha,to kisine kaha
kabhi to apna khopedi ka istmaal kar?
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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SANTA-DOCTOR
santa doctor se:mujhe kuch sunai nahi dene ki bimari hai, jab mera patni kuch kehti hai
doctor:ye bimari nahi,yeh to
.
.
.
.
.
bhagwan ki meharbani hai
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Santa ka 50rs ka note train me ghum ho gaya
santa ka 50rs ka note train me ghum ho gaya
ek aadmi:ya,allah bismilah!
santa:tumhe 20(bis) mila to baki tees kisko mila
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa-tere papa doctor hai,aur tu bimar ho gaya! saram ki baat hai.
..
banta-saram ki bat to yeh hai ki tere papa condom bechte hai or tu phir v paida ho gaya...
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa:main apni patni ko kya giftdoon
banta: diamond ring de.
santa:nahi main kuch bada dena chahta hoon,
banta:fir tractor ka tyre de
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai
ek baar santa gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
gangubai: kaun ?
santa: main !
gangubai: main kaun?
santa: tu gangubai
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-lady doctor
lady doctor: tum roz subah clinicke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Santa apni wife se
santa apni wife se:-tum itni sundar ho, mai tumhe kya kahu
bahar khada uska baap bola:- beta
ek baar maa kah de baaki mai dekh lunga
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Intelligent Sardar
intelligent sardar..........
sardar:- dr. sahab palastic sargery karane me kitna kharchaayega?
dr. :- 5 lakh ka.
sardar:- agar palastic hum de to.
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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SULABH SHOCHALAY
santa:baba mujhe koi aisa kaam batao jahan mujhe kuch na karna pade,log karen aur mujhe paise mile
baba-ja beta sulabh shochalay khol de...
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
banta: teri dukan pe mitthai hai tera dil mithayi khane ko nahi karta?
santa: karta to buhut hai per papa marenge isliye chat kar rakh deta hun
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-police
santa: kal raat chor mere ghar se tv k ilawa sab saamaan le gaye
police: tv kyon nahi le gaye?
santa: tv to mein dekh raha tha na isliye
Views : 217 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa: 1 chor ne muje chaku dikha k lut lia,
banta:tere pas to hamesa gun hoti hai,
santa:haan 2 lakh ki hai,maine chhupali thi warna wo bhi le jata .
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa:me yesa kya kru k teri shaadi k baad me teri biwi ko cinema le kr jau aur tu naraj b na ho...
..
..
banta:meri shaadi apni behen se kara de...
Views : 222 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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ek bar Santa Byk se ja raha tha
ek bar santa byk se ja raha tha
1 ladki ko dekhkr wo byk lakr gir gaya.
ladki- o ho chot to nahi lagi??
santa- oye soniye yeh to hamara byk se utrne ka style hai...
Views : 202 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-pilot
santa plane main ja raha tha usne pailot se uska headphone cheen liya.
pilot- are ye kya kar rahe ho??
santa- oye pialot ticket to humne bhi liya hai gane to akela thode hi sunega
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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juli-santa
juli-agar tum so rahe ho to apne sapne bhejo?
agar tum jaag rahe ho to apni yaden bhejo?
agar tum ro rahe ho to apne aashu bhejo?
santa - poti kr raha ho kya bheju..
Views : 225 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa- tu paida kaise hua? banta- hospital mei, aur tu? snta- khouf me! banta- wo kaise? santa- meri maa k pas 2 daaku aaye aur kaha jo kuch hai nikal do
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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teacher-banta
teacher-edison cut his dad's cherry tree, but he told truth dat he cut it his father didnt do anything why? banta-edison still has axe in his hand!
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: why has the govt. fixed voting age 18yrs&marriage age 21yrs? banta: govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa-Santa's girfriend
santa's girfriend: meri maa aapko bahut pasand karti hai. santa, after a deep thought: kuchh bhi ho jaye, shaadi to main tujhse hi karunga!
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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pragnency test
arz kiya hai...
normal friend thi wo meri, achanak se mere liye khaas ho gayi
zindagi bhar fail hoti thi, kambakht pregnancy test me pass ho gayi..
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Ek murgi aur uske 3 bache road cross kar rahe the
ek murgi aur uske 3 bache road cross kar rahe the
road cross karne k baad murgi k 1 bache
ne
kaha,
hum saato ne road cross karli
7 kaise..?
socho,
read msg again, thoda dimag lagao..!
arre yaar,
bache hai kuch bhi bolte rehte hai
tum tension mat lo
Views : 446 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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true story
true story
papers ache ho ya bure
papers khatam hone ki khushi bahot hoti he.. :
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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knock knock
knock, knock
kaun??
thakur sholay wala
bhai darwaza khol dunga... pahle
ye
bata ki knock knock kaise kiya..?
Views : 191 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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life is too short
life is too short..
so plz don't waste ur time in removing pendrive safely..
aise hi nikal lo....kuch nahi hota..
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Hollywood logic
hollywood logic:-
chahe kitni bhi badi musibat ho,
jaan mushkil mein padi ho,
par ek smooch to banta hai..
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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turn off wi-fi
when mom wants to find out
where
i'm in the house,
she simply turns off the wi-fi .
damn! this trick always work .
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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it can only happwn in indian movies
in krish , priety got pregnant when hrithik was
not with her in 2 years
dhoom 2. . abhishek bachan jumps off the cliff.
straight on the shoulders of hrithik on a
parachute .
n last one is an epic
sholay where (now) jaya bachchan lights a
lantern in the beginning as there is no
electricity in the village..anddharmendra is on a
water tank to COMMIT suicide
paani ki tanki me bina electriicity ke paani upar
kya thakur chadata tha????
Views : 205 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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mistakes in raone
ra one : when sharukh khan dies, being a south
indian he was given a christian funeral but later
we see kareena kapoor uske asthiyo ko paani
me baha deti hai, this was a big mistake no one
noticed.
Views : 211 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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it can happen only in indian movie
it can happen only in indian movies
baghban:amitabh bachchan and hema malini
are separated right after holi remember
amitabh singing holi khele raghubeera?). they
are said to be separated for six months, ie from
march to september. within that six-month
period, they celebrate valentine's day, which
falls on february 14, and karva chauth, which is
usually observed in october. there is no way
these two occasions could come between
march and september!
u all may know that............
Views : 220 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband wife
husband aur wife subha ghar se apni apni car lekar nikle
husband office chala gaya aur wife gayi market mein, after half an hour wife calls her husband
wife bade pyaar se: janu, car mein ek problem aa gayi hai, iske carburetor mein paani chala gaya hai
husband gusse se: tmhara dimaag to theek hai, tumhe pata bhi hai ki carburetor kya hota hai, tum car batao kahan par hai, mein dekh lunga
wife: kisi ke swimming pool mein
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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top 5 lines
top 5 lies-
5. continue, i am 18+
4. your call is important to us
3. i have read the terms & conditions
2. maggie 2 minutes mein banti hai
1. naya cadbury choclairs, ab chipakta nahi hai..
Views : 226 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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90 birthday party
90s birthday party menu
2 eclairs
samosa / kachori
potato chips
a piece of cake
soft drink / rasna
Views : 242 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Mummy ko bolo complan mein thoda ZEHER mila ke pilaye Seriously
to all those people who discriminate others on the basis of religion,caste,colour or gender and also create useless issues regarding these :
mummy ko bolo complan mein thoda zeher mila ke pilaye
seriously
Views : 293 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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jab bacchpan tha
jab bachpan tha
to jawani ek dream tha
jab jawan huye
to bachpan desire hai.
jab ghar me rehte the
aazadi achi lagti thi
aaj akele hai
to har pal ghar k din yaad aate hai.
kabhi hotel me jana
pizza, burger khana
pasand tha
aaj ghar par aana
aur maa k hath k khane me hi jannat milti hai.
jinse zagadte the school me
un dosto ko aaj internet me talashte hai
aaj kal to khush rehne k tarike b hum
google me search marte hai.
facebook se dating
aur flipkart, ebay se shopping karte hai
ghar par b baat ab
skype/gtalk aur whatsapp se karte hai.
life ko
laptop aur mobile me samet diya hai
hum samazte hai humne
khud ko update kiya hai.
iss nayi duniya me humne
na jane kya ghuma diya hai
kab kya badla
hume kuch na pata chala hai.
paisa mila
naam mila
kuch hai hum b
ye b vishwas mila
lekin kya chhoda
kya tyaga humne
iska na hisab mila.
khushi kisme hoti hai
ye pata ab chala hai
bachpan kya tha
iska ehsas ab hua hai.
kash badal sakte hum
zindgi k kuch saal pichhle
kash ji sakte hum
zindgi ek bar fir se
kash mil sakta bachpan
hume ek bar fir se.
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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shahid-sonakshi
shahid : mujhe bas 2 cheeze aati hai
pyaar pyaar pyaar aur maar maar
maar
sonakshi : par ye toh total 6 ho gayi
naa?
shahid : behan tu ghar jaa tere papa
chinta kar rahe honge
Views : 191 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Sony de Nakhre sohne lagde menu
i love it when my sony smartphone hangs and gives me problems
...
because,
sony de nakhre sohne lagde menu
Views : 292 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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aapka call hamare liye important h
mujhe to khud ki value tab hi pta
chalti hai,
jab customer care wale kehte hai,
aap ka call hmare liye important
hai kripiya line pr bne rahe
Views : 277 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa takes blade n writes his grlfrnd's name on his arms &
after 5 minute jor jor se rota hai
banta: kyu ro rha hai
santa:abey, spelling galat ho gyi
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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Santa biwi k office gaya,
santa biwi k office gaya,
biwi boss ki god me baithi thi,
santa(ghusse se)
chal pammi, esi jagah kam nahi karna jaha staff k liye chair tak na ho
Views : 230 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Oct 2015
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santa banta aur kanta teeno ek baike par ja rahe the
santa,banta aur kanta teeno ek baike par ja rahe the.
rto wale ne dekha aur unhe rokne ke liye hath dikhaya.
banta chillakar bola oye pagal pahle se hi teen baithe hue hai.tu kahan baithe ga?
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa went out to buy an Indian flag
santa went out to buy an indian flag. the shop owner gave him the flag.
.
.
guess what did he ask next....
?
?
?
?
?
ish mei aur colour dikhayiye..
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?
banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne
santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?
banta: 500 rs
santa: itnaa huaa kya?
banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar
Views : 219 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-juice wala
santa- 1 glass juice dena ladayi hone wali hai
santa juice pene ki bad- 1 glass aur do ladayi hone wali hai.
pene ke bad 1 glass aur do ladayi hone wali hai.
juice wala- kab hogi ladayi
santa- jab tu merese paise mangega
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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SANTA-DOCTOR
doctor: bachey ko paani dene se pehle ubaal lena chahiye.
.
.
.
santa: woh to theek hai ji per ubalney se bacha mar to nahi jayega..??
Views : 203 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-captain
captain of military: naujawanon aage bado
santa aage nahin bada
captain: tum aage kyun nahin bade?
santa: apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Views : 227 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-Pahalwan
santa-tum 1bar me kitne admi utha sakte ho,
pahalwan-kamse kam 10,
santa-bas!
tumse acha to mera murga h jo subah pure mohalle ko utha deta h
Views : 288 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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ek baar santa cafe main coffe pine jaata hai
ek baar santa cafe main coffe pine jaata hai ...
waiter- sir hot coffe 15 rs.
aur cold coffe 30 rs tbhi santa ek ladke ko dekhkar bhai coffe jaldi pee le agar thandi ho gayi to 30 rs dene padenge
Views : 250 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa:-yaar banta kal mei biwi mere ek dost ke saath bhaag gayi.
banta:-tujhko to bahot yaad aati hogi uski
phir?
santa:-haan yaar …bahot achcha dost tha mera
Views : 290 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa ek dukaan wale se sheesha khareedne gaya
santa ek dukaan wale se sheesha khareedne gaya
santa: iss sheeshe ki majbooti ki kya guarantee hai?
dukaan wala:-ye sheesha yadi aap 100th manzil se fekenge, to ye 99 manzil tak bhi nahin tutega
Views : 344 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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saradr-wife
sardar sir k sath sath kandho par bhi shampu laga raha tha.
wife- kandho pe shampu kyo laga rahe ho?
sardar- pagli ye koi aam shampu nahi hai ye head & shoulder hai..
Views : 251 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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sardar
4 sardar train ke piche bhag rahe the.2 sardar train me chad gaye 2 rah gaye.train yatriyo ne unhe welldone kaha to dono sardar-khak welldon jana to unhe tha hum to chodne aaye the.
Views : 253 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Naai ke paas 5 rupaye Khulle nahin the
santa-tumne itne chhote-chhote
baal kyun katwaye.??
banta-naai ke paas 5 rupaye
khul-le nahin the
to maine kaha ki chal
5 rupaye ke aur kaat de.
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Automobile Enginneer banne
santa ne apni car ke niche
kutte ko sota hua dekha,
to kutte ki taang pakad ke
bahar kicha aur bola-
bahar nikal sale,
bada aaya automobile enginneer banne
Views : 238 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa: tune us ladki ke liye cigarette chod di?
banta: haan
santa: daru ko bhi chod diya?
banta: haan
santa: jua bhi chod diya?
banta: haan
santa: abey to fir us se shadi kyu nahi ki?
banta: oh yaar, itna sudhar gaya tha ke usse achhi mil gayi!
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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ek sardar ko puri raat machhron ne bahut pareshan kiya
ek sardar ko puri raat machhron ne bahut pareshan kiy
12 baje uski khopdi ghumi sardar ne zahar pee liya or bola- ab kato salon sab maroge.
Views : 210 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa
1 aadmi chabi se apna kaan khuja raha tha
.
.
.
.
santa use dekh raha tha
.
.
.
kuch der bad bola- bhai sahb agr app start nahi ho rahe ho to dhakka lagadu..
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: kal maine roket chhoda jo suraj se ja takraya.
banta: fir kya hua?
santa: meri boht pitayi hui,
santa: suraj ki mammi ne muje pita..
Views : 225 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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SANTA-PASSENGAR
passengar;tumne mere jab me haath kyu dala?
santa:mujhe machis chahiye thi
passenjar:tum mujhse maang shakte the ?
snta:mai anjan se baat nai karta
Views : 225 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Musibat Ke Wakt Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai
ek baar santa ka dost musibat me tha or wo santa se bola - yaar musibat ke wakt gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai
santa - wah yaar teri mummy maan bhi jaati hai
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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20-20 me Dudh ki thaili
santa-aawaj lga rha tha 20-20 me dudh ki thaili ek ledy gyi or sarmakar waps aa gyi
2nd ledy -kya hua
1st ledy-kamina bra bech rha tha
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa calls his wife
santa calls his wife: ghar nahi aa sakta... car ka stearing, gear, break sab chori ho gaye...
.
after 1hour,
he calls: aa raha hu, galti se pichli seat pe baith gaya tha...
Views : 206 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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banta makes question paper
banta is a teacher and exam ke liye question paper banaya..
paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye... question they --
1. china kis desh me hai ?
2. 15 aug kis date ko aati hai ?
3. green rang kis colour ka hota hai ?
4. tamatar ko hindi may kya bolte hai ?
5. mumtaz ki qabar main kon dafan hai
Views : 214 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-waiter
waiter: ur bill sir.
.
.
santa: take my card.
.
.
waiter: but sir, this is ration card.
.
.
santa: to phir bahar kya majaak me likha hai..
.
.
all cards are accepted
Views : 171 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-son
santa's son: papa agar aapko,
rs10 aur rs5 raaste mein pade
miley to aap kaun sa note uthaoge ??
santa : 10 rs ka..
son: isliye aap per joke bante hain..
.
.
.
.
2no bhi to utha saktey ho
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa- itne saare log football ko laat kyu maar rahe hai
banta-abe gadhe goal karne ke liye
santa:-gol hi to hai aur kitna gol karenge
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa:- ager bivi ko bhootni lipat jaye, to tu kya karega ?
.
.
banta:- mujhe kya karna ! ye do behno ka aapsi mamla ha
Views : 216 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa in job interview
in a job interview santa is
asked:
aapko kitne saalo ka tajurba
hai?
banta: sir, maaf karna,
mujhe saalo ka to nahi lekin
mujhe
2 saaliyo ka tajurba hai
Views : 216 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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SANTA-DOCTOR
doctor.: aapke 3 danth kaise tut gaye
santa.: wife ne kadak halwa
banaya tha wo khaya isliye.
.
doctor.: to halwa khane se mana kar dete
.
santa.:-
fir to 32 ke 32 tut jaate
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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sardar
1 sardar london me double daker bus me tha condector ne use upar bhej dia . sardar bhagta hua neche wapas aaya or bola marwaega kya? upar to driver hi nahi h.
Views : 239 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa in KBC
santa in kbc..
qus: videsh jane wali pehli bhartiya mahila kaun thi...?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
santa- sita ji..!
ravan ke sath sri lanka..
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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JUNG main SANTA
jung main santa ne bulet proof jacket ki jagah machrdani pehani banta-aisa kyu?
santa-jisme machar nahi ghus sakta usme goli kaise gusegi
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa Bank Me Khata Kholne Gaya
santa bank me khata kholne gaya.
form me 1 sawal tha,
is bank me khata kholne ki wajah.
santa ne waha likha- aapki khubsurat cashier
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa apne papa ke sath ja raha tha
santa apne papa ke sath ja raha tha
us ka lali pop gir gaya,
to dady ne kha beta chod do
dosra lelegen
2 dinbad un ke sat us ki ma bhi
thi,
ma gir gai to bete ne kha,
daddy chod do dosri lelege
Views : 234 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa public toilet gya
santa public toilet gya or
1 ghante ke bad nikla
bahar baitha jmidar bola- 20rs.
santa- sale toilet main baitha tha
cyber cafe main nahi
Views : 229 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: phone pe itni dheemi aawaz me kis se baat kar raha hai?
banta: behen hai !
santa: to phir itni dheemi aawaz me kis liye?
banta: teri hai is liye
Views : 189 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-wife
santa ki loutri lagi aur
woh ghar pr jakar apni wife se
bola...
santa- agar mere loutri lagi to
tum kya karogi.
wife- 50\\% lekr tumhe chod
dhungi.
santa- yeh le 50 rupye aur nikal
yaha se.
Views : 219 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa:agar biwi k baap ko sasur
kehte hain to,
girlfriend k baap ko kya kahenge???
bnta:agar shadi k liye haa kar de
to sasur nhi to asur...
Views : 278 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa road pe ja raha tha
santa road pe ja raha tha..
samne gobar pada tha. santa ne apni ungli gobar me dali or phir muh me.
or bola ohh gobar tha shukar hai pair nhi pda..
Views : 246 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa rat ko smoking krna chta tha
santa rat ko smoking krna chta tha.
pr use khi pe bhi machis nhi mili...
bechara nirash ho kar mombati ko bhuja kr so gya....
Views : 246 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa
santa ne job k 1st day computr pe 11 ghante guzare
boss khusi se: gud aaj kya kiya
santa:keyboard ki abcd aage piche lgi thi wo sahi kr di
Views : 252 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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SANTA dials a number
santa dials a number
a girl receive
santa-kon
girl-me sita
santa-sorry mataji
ludhyana lagaya tha ayodha lag gaya
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa:jab main paida hua tha to mere papa ne 51 banduke chalwai thi.
.
.
.
banta:kamaal hai,
sabka nishana
chook gaya.
Views : 208 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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santa-god
santa:god 1 ladki chahye,
god:tu muslim h to katrina dunga
pnjabi to karina
bania h to yana gupta
bol tera nam kya h
santa- santa singh gupta khan
Views : 261 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Rang de basanti movie dekh kar santa ko bohut gussa aa gaya
rang de basanti movie dekh kar santa ko bohut gussa aa gaya.
banta- why you are so angry.?
santa-pure film me basanti ko dikhaya hi nhi
Views : 246 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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2 ladies
lady 1: tumhare beta aur beti ki shadi hui hai..tumhari bahu aur damaad kaise hain?
lady 2: meri bahu to bahut buri hai....roz late uthti hai aur mera beta uske liye chai bnata hai
ghar ka koi kaam nhi karti
aur jab dekho mere bete se bahar khana khane ke liye kehti rehti hai
lady 1: aur tumhara damaad?
lady 2 : mera damaad to farishta hai..roz subbha meri beti ko chai bna ke pilata hai aur wo aaram se uthti hai...ussee ghar ka koi kaam karne nhi deta aur ussee aksar bahar khana khane le jata hai...aisa damaad sabko mile.
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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real story
a real story
kulfiwala: kulfi lelo kulfi
baccha: ye kulfi kitne ka hai?
kulfiwala: 2 rupye ka
baccha: ye lo 2 rupye
kulfiwala: ye lo kulfi.
real story hai..!!.........
Views : 246 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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School Mein 1st Class Ka Exam
school mein 1st class ka exam tha, ek bachhe ne exam sheet par tatti kar diya
teacher ne ye dekha aur hairan hote hue student se puchha: oye ye tune kya kiya?
student: sorry ma’am, lekin mummy ne kaha tha jo pahle aaye wohi karna.
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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son-dad
son: mumbai jana he hero banna ha
dad: shakal dekhi he apni? hero banega?
son: shows him deshdrohi movie
dad: flight se jayega ya train se?
Views : 253 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Santa Ne puri Raat Mujra Dekha
santa ne puri raat mujra dekha.
mujrewali- saheb,
hamne apko khush kiya
ab aap hume khush kar do.
santa- acha to ab tum betho,
mai nachta hu
Views : 295 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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Sardar galti se samundar me gir gay
sardar galti se samundar me gir gay
doobte doobte uske haath me machhli lagi, use pakad k bahar phenka aur bola tu to apni jaan bacha le
Views : 270 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
Santa 1 ghar ke niche su-su kar rha tha
santa 1 ghar ke niche su-su kar rha tha..
.
upar se 1 aurat boli - dikhta nahi hai, diwar hai...
.
santa bola-thoda side se dekho, dikh jayega....!
Views : 290 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
AAJ KUCH TUFAANI KRTE H
santa:- ye thums up walo ne paresaan kr rkhhaa h..,,
bnta:- q..???
snta:- yar bv roz raat ko thodi si pila k zid krti
h chalo aaj kuch tufaani krte h...
Views : 227 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-waiter
santa gusse se:
waiter...
chicken biryani me chiken hi nehi hai..!
waiter: sir: gulab jamun me kon sa gulab haota hai.!
santa- ha yaar,
sorry.!
Views : 231 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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What do u Mean by PHSD
manager- what is your qualification?
santa- i am phsd
manager- what do u mean by phsd
santa- passed high school with difficulty.
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa ne jawab me sms kiya
wife ne santa ko sms kiya
kitni der me aa rhe ho?
santa ne jawab me sms kiya
20-25 mint me aa rha hu,
agr der ho jaye to ye
sms fir se padh lena
Views : 280 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-dukandaar
santa: rasgulle hai?
dukandaar: nahi,!
santa: dekh lunga.
dukandaar (gusse me): kya dekh loge?
santa: dusri dukaan me jakar dekh loonga....!
Views : 237 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Banta sabzi lene gaya
banta: sabzi lene gaya sabziwala sabzi par pani maar raha tha
kaafi der ho gayi to banta: bola agar sabzi ko hosh aa gaya ho to 1 kilo dedo
Views : 264 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa
santa apni gf ki zulfon me aisa khoya,
ke
behosh ho gaya...
jab hosh aaya to romantic ho kar pucha
jaan! nahati kyun nahi ho..?
Views : 223 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
1 girl fansi laga kar suicide kar rhi thi santa ne window se dekha,
or bola
sirf latakne se height nahi badhegi,mummy ko bolo complan pilaye.
Views : 721 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa vs kidnaper
kidnaper: teri biwi mere
kabze me hai saboot ke taur par uski do ungliya bhijwa raha hoon
santa:sabut pakka nahi hai
.
.
.
.
mundi bhej mundi.
Views : 195 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
banta: santa to truck walo se itna kue darta hai..?
santa: ek bar truck wala meri bivi ko uthakar le gaya. dar jata hu ki wo meri bivi ko wapas chodne to nahi aya hai....!!
Views : 229 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: mere frnd ne chupke se
mere mobile se meri gf ka number le liya.
banta: fir kya hua..?
santa: bewakoof kal raat se
apni bahen ko romantic msgs bhej
raha hai.
Views : 197 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-nurse
santa went to hospital for ecg.
nurse boli- kapde utaro. . .
santa: pehle ecg kar le? ?
baki toh wo sab baad me bhi kar sakte hai
Views : 280 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
B'Day par Bahut Costly Gift
gf- mere b'day par bahut costly gift dena!
santa- ok!
on the b'day_
santa- your gift.
gf- how sweet! is me kya he?
santa- petrol me tale paneer ke pakode.
Views : 288 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-ladki
santa -tumhe wo bangali ladka kiss kr raha tha,
to tumne use mana kyu nai kiya.?
ladki - mai use mana kaise karti. ! mujhe to bangali bolni hi nai ati. . .
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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BLaCK-BeHRRY
santa: oye tu ladki
dekh aaya?
kaisi he?
tom: rang se kali he aur
kaan se kam sunti he
santa:zara
english me kaho
tom: black-behrry he
Views : 255 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
banta: rail ke patri par leta tha.
santa: tu rail ki patri par kyu leta hai mar jayega.
banta: chal pagal jab mere sar ke upar se airoplane nikal gaya tab tho kuch nhi hua tho ab rail mera kya legi. . .
Views : 260 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa-dhire dhire kuch likh rha tha. .
banta -ye dhire-dhire kya likh rhe ho.
santa-saat saal k bete k liye lettr likh rha hu,
wo tez-tez nhi pad skta. . .
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa banta ki dukaan par shave karne aaye,
banta- muchh rakhni hai.?
santa- han..
.
.
banta (much kaat k)- le rakh le jaha rakhni hai.
Views : 227 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa- meri biwi bahut kharchili he,
jab bi dekho 100rs, 200rs mangti rehti hai...
banta- unn paiso ka wo karti kya he.?
santa- kya pata,
maine kabhi diye hi nahi...
Views : 244 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa-banta
santa- yar aaj tabyat thik nhi h,hr chiz double nazr arhi h....
banta-1000ka note deke, ye le wo 2000,jo last week mene udhar lya tha
Views : 214 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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nokia phone
santa ne nokia ka sabse badi screen wala mobile le liya
.
.
.
kyon??????
.
...
.
.
kyonki woh dekna chahta tha hae ki,
phone switch on karne per kaun se 2 log hath milate hae...
Views : 270 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa- ye bata ki duniya me kitne desh hai?
banta- kar di na paglon wali bat,
duniya me 1 hi desh hai india,
baki sab to videsh hai!
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-teacher
teacher: who kaun hai jo aasman mein udti hai par bachche zameen pe deti hai?
santa kuch dair sochne ke baad: air hostess
Views : 231 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Math Ka Test
santa apne bete pappu ka math ka test le raha hota hai.
santa: beta 5 ke baad kya aata hai?
pappu: 6, 7
santa: wah mera beta to bohat hoshiyaar hai,aur 6, 7 ke baad?
pappu: 8, 9, 10
santa: kya baat hai beta aur uske baad?
pappu: gulam, begum, badshaah
Views : 253 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-naukar
santa naukar se: jara dekh to bahar suraj niklaa hai ya nahi
naukar; bahar to andhera hai,
santa: to torch jala kar dekh le kaamchor..!!
Views : 223 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
SANTA in an interview
santa in an interview......
santa- may i come in sir?
interviewer- wait please.
santa- 76 kg only
Views : 196 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Santa-Jyotishi
santa- meri shaadi kab hogi?
jyotishi- kabhi nahin hogi.
santa- kyon?
jyotishi- kaise hogi, tumhari kismat me toh sukh hi sukh lika hai.
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Battery Low
santa- are yaar ye mobile to mujhe kangal kr dega
banta- q?
santa- baar baar dikhata hai battery low ab tak 50 battery badal chuka hu
Views : 230 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa
santa ek baar park mein beth ker gaana ga
raha tha aaj mein upar aasma niche
.
.
uske paas ek aadmi betha tha usaadmi ne
santa ka gaana sun kar santa ko bahut maara
.
.kyon ???
,
,
,kyon ki aasma us aadmi ki beti ka naam
tha
Views : 203 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Santa in Lift..
santa in lift..
.
.
girl : mehnga perfume laga k lift me ayi,
.
or
.
santa ko akkad k boli cobra perfume, rs.6000
.
.
2nd girl ayi: jasmeen perfume rs.7000
.
.
achanak lift ruk gayi or khuch smell aayi
dono ladkiyon ne apna naak pakda
aur
santa ko dekhne lagi
.
.
santa with smile:- muli 14 rupey kilo.....
santa madhosh........ladkiya behosh........
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Batao A Ke Baad Kya Aata Hai?
teacher: batao a ke baad kya aata hai??
santa kafi der sochne ke baad bola... kya bolti tu....!!!!.
Views : 214 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa:- raat bhut ho gai hai aaj yhi ruk ja kal chale jana.!
banta:- tikh hai to main ghar se night suite le k aata hun.!
santa:- tikh hai jaldi aana...!!!
Views : 188 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa vs wife
santa k 7 bachhon me se ek alag he dikhta tha... ek bar marte time usne apni wife se pucha wo alag sa dikhne wala bachha kiska hai ??? wife:- sirf wohi aapka hai !!!?
Views : 174 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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khubsurat ladki
santa ne ek khubsurat ladki
ko pucha aap kaha rahti ho ?
ladki: m.g.road
banta: itni
khubsurat hokar bhi road par
rahti ho mere ghar chalo na...
Views : 233 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
Santa BANK me aake so gaya
santa bank me aake so gaya
.
puchho q.?
.
.
qki..
.
.
usne board par advertise padhi, ki..
.
yaha sone par loan milta hai..
Views : 186 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa - yar banta,pahle tumhare ghar ki nokrani thi vahi kapde dhoya karti thi or aj tum kapde dho rhe ho .
.
.
.
.
.
.....
.
.
.
banta : yar , mene usase shadi kar li
Views : 178 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa
santa rod par potty kr rha tha
tabhi police ne ushe pakad liya
jab police use le ja rhi thi to.....
santa bola :-' bhai sabut to utha lo
Views : 178 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Santa was watching FTV
santa was watching ftv
suddenly son come her...
santa = kitne gareeb ladkiya hai. kapde lene ke liye paise nhi hai.
son = papa agar enh se bhi gareeb dekhne ho to mere paas c.d hai.
Views : 192 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Inteligent Santa
kamjor dil wale na padhen.....
.
.
boss- mere liye ak shisha le kar aao jisme main apna muh dekh sakun.......
.
.
.
.
santa- nahi mila sir!
sab me mera hi muh dikh raha hai.....
.
inteligent santa
Views : 144 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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santa-gf
santa ki gf romantic mood me santa se,
.
gf :- make me feel like a wife,
.
santa ne apne kapde utare or
.
.
.
.
.
kaha le saali dho k aa fata fat
Views : 200 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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Army Training
army training k doran 1 officer ne sipahi se pocha: ye hath me kia hai?
sipahi santa: sir ye bandooq hai.
officer: ye bandooq nhi tumhari izzat or shan hai, tumhari maa hai maa!!
then officer to a sipahi banta singh: tumhare hathme ye kya hai?
banta: sir, ye santa ki maa hai or hamari aunty hai..!!
Views : 193 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Hisaab baraabar.
1 bache ne santa ki dukan se rs.45
ka saaman liya or use 5 k note me
5 k aage pencil se 0 likh kr diya or
kaha ye lo 50rs.. or 5rs.
vapas do..
.
.
.
santa ko pata chal gaya or usne
socha iska badla lena chahiye..
.
.
usne jeb se 50 ka note nikala or
uska 0 pencil se kat diya r bola ye
le 5rs. ab to hisaab
baraabar.
Views : 217 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa ke lips jale hue the
banta: kaise jale?
santa: wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
banta: to?
.
.
.
santa: khushi ke mare.
train ke engine ko choom liya
Views : 153 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
Girl Friend Insult
लड़का लड़की facebook पे chatting कर रहे थे,
लड़की – ओये, क्या चल रहा है?
लड़का – वही जो तेरे पास नहीं है,
लड़की चिढ़ते हुए बोली -क्या ?
लड़का – दिमाग
Views : 302 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
Girl Super Insult
एक लड़के ने रात के अंधेरे में लड़की को छेड़ा,
अगले दिन-
लड़की की माँ- क्यों रे?
तूने मेरी लड़की को रात क्यों छेड़ा,
लड़का – आज सुबह जब उजाले में आपकी
लड़की को देखा तो मैंने भी खुद से यही सवाल किया,
माँ बेहोश
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
fighting
santa banta were fighting after exam.
sir: y r u fighting?
santa : this fool left the answer sheet blank,
sir: so what?
santa: even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
Views : 176 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
biwi ko padhaunga
biwi ko padhaunga
santa : pehle me apni biwi ko ba karwaunga fir ma fir phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.
banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo.
Views : 310 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
Shahrukh , Rajini and Chiranjeevi at Cricket Match if our stars play cricket it would like this
shahrukh , rajini and chiranjeevi at cricket match if our stars play cricket matches it would go like this
chiranjeevi
cheeru, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball…..... bowler bowls it and cheeru hits with tremendous power….... the ball goes far away and umpires are forced to give 12 runs for that.
cheeru wins the match!
shahrukh
shahrukh, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball…..... bowler bowls it and shahrukh glides it to 3rd man…...... .....the ball goes to boundary line shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw, shahrukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at keepers end, keeper misses it goes for a 4 runs. in the background vande mathram….
shahruk wins the match!
rajinikanth
rajni the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball…
bowler bowls it and rajini hits with tremendous power….... the ball splits into “two” 1 half goes to six.....the other half goes to four.
rajini wins the match!
Views : 380 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
introducing T20 Format In Exams
introducing t20 format in exams-
reduce exam time by 1 hr & marks by 50
introduce breaks after each 15 mins
1st 30 mins power play no teacher in d class
cheer girls in every class
they'll dance when we take additional sheets...
Views : 433 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
why india won the cricket
why india won the cricket (quarter final world cup) match vs australia
virend(r)a
tendulk(a)r
yuvara(j)
gaut(a)m
rai(n)a
dhon(i)
virat (k)ohli
harbhaj(a)n
zaheer kha(n)
munaf pa(t)el
as(h)win
Views : 419 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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engineer
engineers are impossible, they can prove anything
prove 2 / 10 = 2
art student : out of syllabus
commerce student : question hi galat hai
medical student : its strange yaar, ye kaise ho sakta hai?
engineering student : it is very easy
two / ten
= wo / en
(w=23rd letter, o=15th letter,
e=5th letter & n=14th letter)
= 23+15 / 5+14
= 38 / 19
= 2
engineer never ask?
ans kya hai?
they only ask, ans kya lana hai.
that's engineering...
Views : 351 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
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ek pyar bhara sms
1 admi ki dusre shehar me naukri lagi.
waha pahunch ke usne socha ki biwi ko sms kar doon.
galti se wo sms kisi aur ke paas chala gaya,
jis ke pass gaya wo aurat apne husband ko
dafna ke aayi thi or sms padthe hi behosh ho gayi.
sms kuch yun tha:
main yaha thik thak pahunch gaya hoon,
yaha mobile ki suvidha bhi hai,
tum udhas mat hona,
2-3 din me tumhe bhi apne paas bula lunga..
Views : 336 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
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Dear friends Did you know
valentines originates from gujaratis.
when the gujarati men upset their wives,
the women beat their husbands up with a velan
( rolling pin used for making roti/ chapati)
this happened so often the practice came
to be known as velan time.
(beating time).
to escape the beatings the hubbies gave
flowers, sweets and gifts.
after many years and language translations,
it is now called as valentines around the world!
Views : 112 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
two GIRLS Were Playing Chess
girl 1: chal yaar bas karte hai... pak gaye hai.
girl 2: haan yaar... waise bhi tera sirf
haathi bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda..
phir wahan ek ladka aata hai...
boy: chalo girls... chess khelte hain.
both girls: nahi! tum to hume aasani se hara doge.
boy: chalo yaar... tum dono aur mai akela.
both girls: phir bhi hum haar jayenge.
boy: okay... mai left hand se khelunga.
both girls: yupee... phir thik hai.
dono obviously haar jaate hai aur
ladka wahan se chala jaata hai.
girl 1: badi sharmnaak baat hai yaar...
left hand se bhi hara diya usne!
girl 2 (thoda sochne ke baad):
abe bewakoof bana gaya woh hume.
girl 1: kaise?
girl 2: wo lefty hi hoga...!
Views : 303 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
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How long is your one?
how long is your one?
i have one.
you have one.
your mother uses your father's one
and your auntie uses your uncle's one.
a married lady would acquire one.
but a divorced lady would lose her one.
a pope does not use his one.
lee kuan yew has a short-short one.
mao ze dong had a hairy one.
arnold schwarzenneger has a longer one.
michael j. fox has a shorter one.
madonna does not have one.
the chinese usually have short ones.
while the indian usually have long ones.
do you have one?
how long is your one?
which one is your preferred one?
(see below for answer)
.
.
.
answer : your surname,( what were you
thinking of,)
huh???
Views : 111 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
DO Vs DIE
ganguly: do or die.
sehwag: do before you die.
dravid: do until they die.
tendulkar: do that will never die...
laxman: do when everyone else die.
yuvraj: do, die, reborn, do, die, reborn (repeat)....
dhoni: do everything before luck die.
Views : 316 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
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LIGHT AA Gai
pure india me sirf 2 state (up and bihar) hi aise hai jahan log har 2-3 hour mai khushiya manate hai .........
pata hai kaisey??
light aa gaii !!
light aa gaii !!
Views : 355 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
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Ek din khuda ne mujhse kaha.
ek din khuda ne mujhse kaha,maang kuch apne liye;
mat ghoom tu is tarah ,bikhre tute sapne liye;
kyu parvaah is duniya ki behisaab tu karta hain,
jisne thode sapne tere,bus apne matlab ke liye;
khuda ki baato ko sunkar main thoda sa muskaya;
phir maine kaha us khuda se-
ki dena hain to ek choti si jagah de,
sirf uske dil me-bus mere liye
Views : 376 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
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exam vs rockstar
in rockstar-'toote hue dil se hi
sangeet nikalta hai!!'....
.
.
.
.
.
in exams-'chhute hue chapter se hi questions nikalta hai!!
Views : 319 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
admi shadi kyu krta hai
admi shadi kyu krta hai?
marne k baad woh swarg mai jaye to acha feel kare ,aur nark mai jaye to apne ghar jaisa feel kare...
Views : 331 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
banta- ladkiya shrab se itna nafrat kyu krti hai?
santa- kyuki shrab pine k baad unk chuhe jaise
pati shero jaisa bartao krne lagte hai...
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
Santa ne theke k malik ko raat 1 bj phone kiya
santa ne theke k malik ko raat
1 bj phone kiya : bhaji theka kitne bj khulega
malik:swer 9 bj
1 ghnte baad,
fir santa ne fon kiya : bhaji theka kitne bj khulega
malik:swer 9wje
santa ne 3-4 war aisa hi kiya
5vi war malik gusse se bola tujhe kya chahiye
santa:kuch nhi bhaaji,
main theke k andar betha hu.mujhe ghar jana hai
Views : 329 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa
santa to his fatty wife: operation me mujhe kuch ho gya
to doctor se shadi kar lena
fatty wife: aisa kyu kah rahe ho?
santa: q ki badla lene ka yahi tarika he
Views : 251 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa- dunia mein sab se dukhi aadmi koun hai ?
banta- panipuri wala !
santa- kaise?
banta- kyuki ladki kuwari ho ya married “bhaiya” hi bulati hai.
Views : 235 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
santa-judge
santa ko fasi sunakr juj bola akhri bar kise milna chahoge
santa- bv se
judge- ma bap se nhi
santa- ma-bap to agla jnm hote mil jaege,bv k lie 21 saal wait krna padega
Views : 205 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: abe ye gaddaa khod ke mitti kaha dalu??
banta: abe itni bhi akal nahi hai tujhme?
dusra gaddha khod aur usme daal de..
Views : 187 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
diffrence between Seniors & Juniors
santa: whats diffrence between seniors & juniors?
banta: jo samundra k najdik rehte wo seniors (sea+nears)
&
jo zoo k najdik rehte wo juniors (zoo+nears)
Views : 275 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
Choclate Milk
do u know why pappu bought a brown cow???
.
.
.
2 get choclate milk
Views : 342 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
ladka aur ladki
1 ladki ka college ke 1 ladke se chakkar tha
ladki-jaan tum mughe rani kyo kahte ho?
ladka haskar bola-kyoki nokarani kahna lamba ho jata hai
ladki- pta hai me tumko jaan kyo kahti hu?
ladka-kyo?
ladki-haskar boli-kyoki jaanwar kahna lamba ho jata hai
Views : 961 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
MS DHONI
teacher: tell me the name of any
microsoft product?
samy:
ms excel..
johny:
ms word..
nitin:
ms powerpoint..
santa:
after thinking a lot....
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.
.
.
ms dhoni...
Views : 446 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
vidhwa aurat
santa ka interview:
batao wo kaun si aurat h jisko
1oo\\% pata hota h ki uska husband kaha
hai?
santa ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya
or bola
.
vidhwa aurat
Views : 393 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
bewkuf santa
santa girlfriend ko ghar le gaya
sab darwaze
khirkiyan
band kardi
light off kar ke
uske pass aaya aur bola:
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
ye
dekho meri watch me light jalti hai
Views : 277 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
banta aur Inspector
3 poultry farms ki inspection ho rhi thi...
inspector: tum murgion ko kya dete ho ?
banta: bajra
inspector: wrong food
arrest him
inspector: tum kya dete ho ?
banta's relative: rice
inspector: tum bhi galat ho
arrest him too
santa ghabra k bola: main to sab murgion ko 5-5 rupay de deta hu jis ka jo dil kare kha le...
Views : 286 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa
aurto se bhari bus palti
sari aurte mar gyi
sbke pati 1-1 ghanta roye
pr santa 2 ghante!
q?
.
qki snta ki wife se bus miss hogyi thi
Views : 244 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
Ground Staff vs santa
fighter pilot santa kamyabi k baad apna jahaaz land karne pe bohut khush hua..
.
.
niche utarne pe ground staff ne ussey hath milaya....
aur uski vardi utarne me help karne lage..
.
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santa (fakr se): aaj maine pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara hai..
.
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ground staff: wo sab to theek hai lekin sir ji apne 1
galti kar di..
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santa: kaun si galti.. ??
.
.
ground staff: bas aap isi khushi me pakistan me hi land kar gaye hain..
Views : 290 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Interviewer-santa
railway interview:-interviewer:- agar do gaadiyan ek line pe aa gayi to kya karoge?
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santa:- jee, red light dikhaunga.
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interviewer:- red light na hoto?
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santa:- torch dikhaunga..
.
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interviewer:- torch naho to?
.
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santa:- apni red shirt utaar kar dikhaunga.
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interviewer:- shirt bhi red na huyi to?
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santa:- fir main apne bua ke ladke ko bulaunga...
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interviewer:- hain..!! wo kyun?
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socho socho ??
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santa:- jee, usne kabhi traino ki takkar nahi dekhi..
Views : 205 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa baraf ka tukda haath me lekar gour se dekh raha tha
banta- kya kar rahe ho? santa- dekh raha hu ki leak kaha se ho raha hai.
Views : 203 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa
santa ko chand par bhejne ka
faisla hua..
.
.
aadhe raste
jakar santa rocket se kood gaya or chillaya......
.
.
kamino aaj to amawasya hai,
chand to hoga hi nahi......
Views : 256 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: what is difference between “complete and finish”?
banta: when you marry a right person you are complete
and when you marry the wrong one your are finished!!!
Views : 169 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa-boss
mr. santa interview dene gaye..
boss-ur birthday.
santa-22 april sir.
boss-kaun sa saal.
santa-ulloo ke patthe,kya kon sa saal,
Views : 293 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa in court ( sad ) : bachpan mein agar maa ki
baat suni hoti to aaj ye din nahi dekhna padta
.
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.
judge : kya kehti thi tumhari maa ?
.
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santa : judge sahab tum bhi gawaaro wali baat
kar rahe ho...jab suni hi nahi to bataau kaise..
Views : 241 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?
banta: karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.
Views : 197 |
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Joke Posted on : 12 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa to banta..
santa-: mere mama ne mujhse
choti si baat pe rishta tod
diya..
.
.
banta-: kyu..??
kya kaha unhone..?
.
.
.
santa-: unhone kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
mungfali me dana nahi,
hum tumhare mama nahi..
hahahaha.
Views : 199 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa-banta
santa ki umbrella mein hole tha.. to uske bete ne use pucha : papa chatri mein hole kyon?
.
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santa : are gadhe agar barish rukegi to pata kese calega?
Views : 229 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa to banta :-
agr tu bata de ki meri tokri me kya h. toh
tokri k aadhe ande tere..aur ye bhi bata de ki
ande kitne h...
.
to 10 k 10 tere.... aur
.
agar ye bhi bata de ki ande kiske h...
.
to murgi bhi teri....
.
banta :- abey koi hint to de
Views : 214 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa on his 1st date
santa apni grlfrnd k saath 1st date pe : ye meri pehli date hai darling agr koi galti ya kami reh jaye toh chhota bhai samajh k maaf kr dena.
Views : 231 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa
santa sharab pikar
sadhu se takra gya
sadhu gusse me- aye murkh
me tujhe shraap deta hu
santa-rukiye maharaj
me glas leke ata hu
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa
santa jungle ke raste se ja raha tha.
tab uski najar ped pe latke hue sap pe padi.
santa :sirf latakne se height nahi badhegi,mummy ko bolo complain pilaye.
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa
santa kissed his gf in park
gf: plz ye sab shaadi se pehle maat karo
santa: oh soniye don't worry i'm married
Views : 104 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
husband-wife
wife: agar duniya mein aurat na hoti
to tumhare pant ke button kaun takta..???
.
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.
.
husband: yadi duniya mein aurat na hoti to pant
pehnne ki jarurat hi kya thi..
Views : 216 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa-Receptionist
santa makes call to airport: how long is the journey from punjab to america??
receptionist: 1 sec sir..
.
.
.
.
santa disconnects and says,
''pee ke bethi h kamini....
Views : 266 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa bank me paise jama karane gaya
santa bank me paise jama karane gaya.
cashier-
tumhare note nakli hai.
santa-
tujhe kya farak padata hai?
jama to mere account me ho rahe hai na..!!
Views : 250 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa: yaar tu itna bada ho gaya aur phir bhi abhi tak tere ko
dadhi- mooch nahi aayi?
banta :yaar main bilkul apni maa par gaya hoon
Views : 200 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa was busy scratching his head in a mall.
banta: wat happened?
santa: tu bhi kar,
wahan poster laga hai,
scratch & win a bmw
Views : 197 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
best joke
1936 ka best sms
us waqt mobile hi kaha tha
kabhi toh dimag use liya kro yar.
Views : 224 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
bus conductor
who is d most inspirational person after our
parents,..?
bus conducter
chaliye, chaliye,
aage badhiye
aage badhiye
aage badhte rahiye.
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
currency
pound, dinar, dollar etc have pictures of well dressed queens, kings, scientists, president etc on them
and rupee shows a half naked,malnouris hed old man..
saali currency hi gareebo wali hai, girni hi hai ...
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
easy physics
physics kitni easy hoti agar??
.
.
agar
..
apple' k jagah 'tree' gir gaya
hota!!!..to sala newton hi mar
jata...
Views : 236 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa:
tum bike itni tez q chla rhe ho?
banta:
ye letter urgent dena hai
santa:
kaha?
banta:
address padhne ka time nai hai.
santa:
ok go fast.!
Views : 299 |
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Joke Posted on : 9 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
danger moment
danger moment
when u call ur friend on his mobile nd say,
abe kamine, kha mar gya
and d ans is..
beta, wo to bahar gya hai..!! :
Views : 310 |
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Joke Posted on : 9 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
husband - wife
wife:- maine aap ki birthday ke liye itna mehnga suit lia hai ki bus…
husband:- shukar hai, mera bhi khayal aya, lao dikhao…?
wife:- “mai abhi pehen k ati hon”
Views : 216 |
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Joke Posted on : 9 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa ne ek din badi udasi se apne dost banta ko bola.
santa: “yaar meri biwi gussa bahut karti hai”
banta: “meri bhi pahle karti thi ab nahi karti”
santa: “achha, aisa tum ne kya elaaj kiya?” :o
banta muskurate hue: “kuch khas nahi, wo ek din gusse mein thi, maine kah diya ke budhape mein gussa aa hi jata hai, us din se wo gussa nahi karti“
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
santa-ladka
santa ne beti ke room me cigarette dekha..
.
oh god, she smokes ;-o
.
fir wisky dekha..
.
oh god, she drinks
.
.
fir ladke ko dekha..
.
thank god, ye sab is ladke ka hai
Views : 178 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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santa-teacher
teacher- jo mere sawal ka sahi jawab dega wo ghar ja sakta hai.
ussi waqt santa ne apna bag bahar fek diya.
teacher- wo bag kisne feka?
santa- maine..ab main ghar jau???
Views : 181 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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Sardar -biwi
biwi raat me kapde utrte hue...
tirchi nazar se santa ki traf dekte hue boli:
pata he na kya karna hai..?
.
.
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.
.
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.
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santa: teri aisi ki taisi,,,
me itni rat ko kpde nahi dhounga..!
Views : 182 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa-tu mirror k saamne baith kr q pad rha hai...
.
.
.
.
.
.
banta- iske 3 reason hain....
.
1. saath mein revision ho jaati hai
.
.
.
.
.
2. khud pr nazar rhti hai
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
3. padne k lie company mil jati hai
Views : 166 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-banta
santa : o yaar car ki speed itni kyon
badha
di?
.
.
. .
.
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.
. .
.
.
banta: o car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar
pahunch jaate
hain….!
Views : 141 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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santa-ladka
ek bar santa station pr train ka wait kr rha tha. tvi ek ladka usse time
puchta h.
ladka-- uncle tim kya h rha.h?
santa-- sorryy
ladka-- uncl time?
santa-- sorry ladka-- pr ku aap ni bta rhe h?
santa-- isliye ki agr mai time bta diya to tm mjhse mra naam puchoge.
fir bat badegi. hm dono dost ban jaynge. fir hm frank ho jayge. fir kya
pata hm dono ek hi station pr jaye. wha mri beti mjhe reciev krne
ayegi. tm mri beti se dosti kr loge jo bahuut sundr h. fir pyar kr loge. fir
mjhe shadi krne k liye dabao daloge. aur mai ye nhi chahta ki tm mre damad bano kuki tm bahut laparwah ho jiske hath me ek time btane
wali ghadi nhi h.
wo mra damad nhi ban sakta.
.
.
ladka sock hokr behosh ho jata h.
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
Pappu-wife
pappu: dekho.. main chahe jaisa bhi hoon..
par baccha ek dum sunder hona chahiye..
wife: dekho ji.. choice is yours.. baccha yaa
toh sunder hoga yaa aap ka hoga
Views : 238 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
diwali
breaking news...
nasa is closed..
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..
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..
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rajnikant bought all the rockets for the diwali….
Views : 318 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
couple
ek couple ek art gallery me paintings dekh rahe the..
wife ne dekha ke husband ka dhyan sirf ek hi painting pe hai jo ek ladki ki thi jiski body patto (tree leaves) se dhaki hui thi
wife ne apne husband se kaha: ghar chalna hai, yaa hawa chalne ka wait kar rahe ho?
Views : 285 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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Titanic
ek auto rickshaw me couple kiss
kar rhe the..........
driver unhe dekh raha tha
aage jaake accident hua
toh..
driver sar pakad kar baitha aur
bola:-
saala ab samjhaa titanic kyu dooba tha
Views : 267 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
aadmi ka dil
aadmi ka dil bahut bada hota hai,
aur aurat ka bahut chhota dil hota hai proof.
aurat k dil me
sirf uske lover aur pati k liye hi jagah hoti hai.
but aadmi ka dil
itna bada hota hai ki usme
lover
dost ki lover
biwi ki dost
saamne wali
bajuwali
uparwali
neechewali
sabjiwali
doodhwali
kapdewali
saali
kaamwali
bhai ki saali
aur
thodi bahut
patni k liye bhi
jagah hoti hai.
sach me, aadmi ka dil samundar hota hai..
Views : 253 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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cycle
cycle wale ne 1 aadmi ko takkar mar di
aur bola - aap bahut lucky ho
aadmi - kaise
cycle wala - aaj meri chutti hai
nahi to mai truck chalata hu.
Views : 211 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
pati-patni
pati : kaha ja rahe ho?
patni: jahannam me.......
pati: thank you, jao..........
Views : 240 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
Bibi-sohar
kya larki thi...
shohar: kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi,
wah! kya larki thi.
bibi: akeli he aai hogi?
shohar: tumko kese pata:
bibi: uska husband mere khuab main
tha.
Views : 285 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa-murgewala
santa murga kharidne gaya
santa: “murge kitne rs ke hai?”
murgewala: “70, 50 aur 10 rs ka”
santa: “10 rs ka itna sasta kyu?”
murgewala: “isko aids hai”
santa: “yehi de de, maine khana hi hai kaunsa g maarni hai“
Views : 256 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
ipl
sarfaraz khan 17 ki umar me ipl khel raha h aur mai jab 17 ka tha tb mere exms hone ki wajh se ghr wale ipl dekhne nai dete the.
Views : 314 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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girl-boy
girl: sports me interest hai?
boy: haan
girl: cricket?
boy: haan
girl: football
boy: haan
girl: waise karte kya ho?
boy: satta khelta hoon.
Views : 306 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Oct 2015
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Monsoon Special
monsoon special
a man was walking in the rain
lady: ap mera chata (umbrella) share kar sakte hai..
man: nai behenji, mai thiq hu
moral: moral voral kuch nai, piche biwi aarahi thi
Views : 219 |
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
male logic
male logic
lady: kya tum beer pite ho?
man: haa
lady: kitni pii lete ho ek din me?
man: yahi koi 2 beer ek din me
lady: kitne ki aati hai ek beer
man: rs. 100/-
lady: kab se pite aarahe ho?
man: karib 20 saal se
lady: ek din ka 200, matlab monthly 6000, yaane 20 saal me karib 15lakh...tum jante ho, agar sahi tarah kharch karte aur paise bachaate to itne paiso me tum ek honda city le sakte the
man: sahi tarah kharch??? madam kya ap beer piti hai?
lady: nai..
man: kaha hai apki honda city????
Views : 266 |
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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thought of the day
jab tak zinda hun post karta rahunga,
aur jis din post na kya to samajhlena,
agle din kardunga,
maar do zalimo,
nahi nahi maar do........
Views : 211 |
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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bhaghwaan in dabang mood
bhagwaan dabang mood me:
hum tumhari city me aisa climate kar denge k confuse ho jaaoge ke cold cream lagaye ya sunscreen...
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Reactions of kiss in different country
reactions of kiss in different country
america: kiss hard
japan: kiss me slowely
but in india: jaldi kro nhi to koi aa jayega
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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teacher -baccha
school me bacche ke admission k liye interview tha
teacher: beta papa kya krte hai
baccha: jo mummy bolti hai!!!!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa-pandit
santa: aap mujhe sanskrit seekha do,
pandit: kyun?
santa: devtaao ki bhasha hai, swarg mein jaroorat padegi
pandit: agar nark gaye to?
santa: punjabi to aati hi hai…
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santa-banta
santa roti ka ek bite khud kha raha tha aur ek paas baithi murgi ko khila raha tha…
banta: “ye kya kar raha hai?”
santa- “chicken ke sath roti kha raha hu.”
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More Husband Wife Joke
pati-patni
ati patni mein zabardast jhagda ho raha tha,
patni: kash main apni mom kibaat maan leti aur tum se shadi na karti
pati: kya matlab? tumhari maa ne mujh se shadi karne ko mana kiya tha?
patni: haan, bahut baar…
pati rote hue bola: hey bhagwan, main aaj tak uss nek aurat ko kitna bura samjhta raha jisne mujhe bachana chaha…
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pati-biwi
pati: aaj khane me kya banaogi?
biwi: jo tum kaho…
pati: daal chawal banao
biwi: abhi kal hi to khaye the
pati: to sabji bana lo
biwi: bahcche nahi khate
pati: fir keema?
biwi: mujhe allergy hai
pati: parantha?
biwi: raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai?
pati: kadhi?
biwi: dahi nahi hai
pati: fir kya banaogi?
biwi: jo tum kaho!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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thought of the day
“apni khud ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra badha sakta hai!”
– shakespeare
“apni biwi ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra ghata bhi sakta hai!”
– shakespeare ki biwi
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pati-patni
shaadi ki function chal raha tha..
pati apni patni ke sath waha pahuncha,
thodi der baad patni ne dekha ki wo kisi mahila se hans-hans kar baat kar raha hai..
patni ne paas aakar kaha: main ghar pahunch kar, tumhari garam paani ki sikaayi kar ke iodex laga dungi!!
pati: par mujhe chot kaha lagi hai?
patni: abhi hum ghar bhi kaha pahunche hain?
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indian wife
indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai
wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko
“abe gadhe” aur
“oye gadhe” ya
“sun gadhe”
nahi bolti
isliye wo short me
“a.g. / o.g./ suno g” kehti hain..
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Assistant-Boss
assistant: “sir, aap office mein shadi-shuda aadmiyon ko hi kyu rakhte ho?”
boss: “kyunki unhe beizzati sehne ki aadat hoti hai aur ghar jane ki jaldi bhi nahi hoti”
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Mere Garam Pani
bhari sardi mein biwi bathroom se naha ke nikli to uska pati use ghoor raha tha!
biwi romantic hokar boli: kya iraada hai?
pati ne 2 thappad maare aur bola “mere garam pani se kyu nahayi”
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wife-operator
wife ambulance ko 108 per call karti hai.
operator: aapko kya samasya hai?
wife: mere pair ki ungli coffee table se takra gayi hai.
operator: haste hue aur iske liye aap ambulance bulana chahati hain.
wife: nahi, ambulance to mere pati ke liye hai, use hasna nahi chahiye tha naa..
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husband-wife
husband: meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
wife: ok.
after 10 minutes
husband: meri shirt press ki?
wife: nahi…
husband: kyun?
wife: ulti nahin aa rahi hai!
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spelling mistake
a man received message from his neighbor..
sorry sir i am using your wife.
i am using day and night,
i am using when you are not present at home,
infact i am using more than you are using,
i confess this because now i feel very much guilty,
hope you will accept my sincere apologies!!
man went home and had a big fight with his wife.
few minutes later he received another message…
sorry sir spelling mistake… it’s not wife but wifi !!
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Tote-toti
ek pinjare mein kuchh tote (parrots) ek toti ko chhed rahe the..
jabki doosre pinjare mein ek tota pooja aur dusra tota namaaz padh raha tha!
malik ne socha: kitne nek tote hain, inke pinjare mein toti surakshit rahegi.
usne toti ko nek toto ke pinjare mein daal diya.
to pooja karne wala tota namaaz padhne wale tote se bola…
“utho miyaan dua kabool ho gayi!”
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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ladka vs ladki
ek ladka ek ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha:
ladka: kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon?
ladki (chillai): nahin, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti… !
sab log dekhne lage….. ladka sharminda ho gaya..
kuch der baad ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha: main human nature ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoonke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hain…
ladka (chillaya): what…?? 10 hazar ek raat ke bahut zyada hain, kuch kam karo yaar…
sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage. .
aur phir ladka aahista se bola: ab kar study human nature pe
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Bacha-Baap
bacha:- bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. roz roz dant ti hai.
next day zuban cut gayi..
bacha :- bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. tang karta hai… bahut marta hai.
next day master ka hath toot jata hai…
bacha :- bhagwan mere baap ko utha le… bahut marte hai.
next day baap ghar aate hain,
bacha :- papa apko kuch nahi hua ??
baap :- nahi kyon?
bacha :- maa kahan hain…??
baap :- pados me sharma uncle ki death ho gayi hai, wahan gayi hai..
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age factor
age factor
age 1 to 15 : naino mai sapna.
15 to 25 : sapno mai sajna.
25 to 35 : sajna pe dil aa gaya .
35 to 75 : kyu sajna pe dil aa gaya?
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Teacher vs Kapil
teacher: paani mein rehne wale 5 jaanwar ke naam batao?
kapil: mendak.
teacher: 4 aur batao…
kapil: mendak ki mummy, uske papa, uski behan aur uski item
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Santa vs Bhikari
bhikari- sahab 20 rs do na, coffee peeni hai..
santa- lekin coffee to 10 rs ki aati hai?
bhikari- meri girlfrnd bhi sath mai hai na.
santa- arey, bhikari hokar tune girlfriend bana rakhi hai..
bhikari- nahi, gf ne hi mujhe bhikari banaya hai..
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa-banta
santa: pados me kya chal raha hai?
banta: birthday hai
santa: kiska?
banta: tuyu ka
santa ne puchha: tuyu!! ???
banta: haan, sunai to kuchh aisa hi de raha hai… “happy birthday tuyu!”
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santa vs tapori
santa was going on a bike with his beautiful wife .
tapori : sardarji , wife hai ya lover ?
santa: saale lover hogi teri, meri to wife hai….
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs wife
santa do cigarettes ek saath peeta thaa.
wife: ek sath do cigarette kyon peete ho?
santa: dost kee yaad aati hai na … ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost kee…
kuchh dino baad santa ek hi cigarette peene laga…
wife – dost ko bhool gaye kya?
santa : nahin pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai!!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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ramu ne apne aap ko aaine me dkha
ramu ne daru pike apne apko aaine
me dekha...
~
or
~
~
bola
~
yaara isko to kahi dekha h
o yaad aaya ye to wahi kamina h....
jo shadi k album me teri bivi k sath
tha.????????
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs dukandar
santa mobile recharge karwane gaya
dukandar-- kitne kaa??
santa-- 10 rs ka kar do
dukandar-- 7 rs ka talktime milega.
santa- koi baat nahi, 3 rs ki namkin de do..
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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ladki vs lecturer teacher
ek ladki lecture bunk kar ke college mein ghum rahi thi
ek professor ne use dekha aur pucha: “ye kya? chalu period mein ghum rahi ho?”
ladki ne sharmate hue jawab diya: “sir, ye soch hi to badalni hai“
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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ek naai ki dukaan
ek naai ki dukaan ke upar ghar tha
ek din ghar ki ek aurat ne bahar ki taraf apni sadi sukhne ke liye dali
dukan mein andhera ho gaya to naai ne jor se awaaz lagayi
naai: “bhabhi ji, sadi uper utha lo mene baal kaatne hai“
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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pati vs patni
pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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pati vs patni
patni: aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
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pappu vs teacher
teacher: “maine ek aadmi ka khoon kiya”
iss sentense ko future tense mein badlo.
.
.
pappu: “you will go to jail”
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
For Boys and girl
for boys:
way 2 impress a girl
respect her,
honour her
love her,
protect her and
care for her
but
for girls :
how 2 impress a boy
just smile :-)
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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pati vs patni
patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo ne itna kyon mara?
pati : are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara pair uper kijiye photo lena hai….
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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pati vs patni
pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon.
patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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pati vs patni
patni:-sharab peene ke baad kya tumhe mera naam bhi yaad nahin rehta?
pati:-pee lene ke baad to main har gam bhool jata hoon,meri jaan.
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Ghalib vs girl
ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya, wo late aayi….
girl: am i late ?
ghalib: arz hai….
falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai,
dusri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.
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2 dost
2 dost
2 dost jungle mein ja rahe the,
jab raat ho gayi to wo dono raaste mein hi tent laga ke so gaye.
raat ko 1 dost ki aankh khuli..
usne doosre ko jaga ke kaha
aasman ki taraf dekh ke bata tujhe kya nazar aata hai?
2nd : bahut saare sitare..
1st : isse kya pata chalta hai?
2nd : aasman khubsurat hai..
1st : abey newton ki aulad tent chori ho gaya hai…!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs banta
banta: jalebi bech raha tha,
lekin bola raha tha.. “aaloo le lo aaloo”
santa: yeh to jalebi hai..
banta : abe chup ho ja, warna makkhiya aa jayegi!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs bijli
santa par bijli ka taar gir gaya
santa tadap-tadap ke marne hi wala tha ki
achanak…
use yaad aaya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai..
wapas uthkar, hanste hue bola,
aailaa..
yaad nahin aata to mar hi jaata!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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the 2 lady
the 2 lady
1st lady: patni har janam me wahi pati kyun chahti hai?
2nd lady: taaki uss pati ko sudharne me lagi mehnat bekaar na jaaye
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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mom vs pappu
mom – pappu beta.. haath jal gaya,
jara tooth paste lana..
pappu – nahin maa,
mere tooth paste me namak hai,
duniya wale sochege,
bete ne jale pe namak chhidak diya…
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Boy vs Girl
boy- bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai
girl- taxi, autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale
aate hai..!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Pitaji vs Tinku
pitaji:- itne kam no. ? do thapad marne chahiye!
tinku:- ha papa,chalo maine us mastarji ka ghar dekha hai!!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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judwa baache
do judwa baache kamare me baithe the
ek haans ke lot pot ho raha tha aur dusra udaas tha
dad : tum itna kyun haans rahe ho
son : mummy ne itni thand me dono baar isi ko nehla diya!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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teacher vs santa
teacher : santa! make a sentence using “neither-nor”.
santa : when girls wear tight fitting dresses, “neither” are they
comfortable, “nor” are we!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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prove 4=5
a funny theorem in mathematics :
can you prove, 4=5
yes it is true, here is the proof :
for this, we take three variable a, b and c.
suppose, if :
a + b = c
we can also write the same in this way :
5a – 4a + 5b – 4b = 5c – 4c
=> 5a – 5b – 5c = 4a + 4b + 4c
=> 5 * (a+b+c) = 4 * (a+b+c)
=> 5=4 or 4=5
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Colgate vs HARPIC
colgate se daant saaf karne ka,
pepsodent se majboot karne ka,
babool se fresh karne ka..
agar fir bhi safed nahi huye to..
bindass harpic use karne ka..
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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Boyz Mentality
boyz mentality :-
ye jo aag dim me lagi hai zamane me laga dunga,
.
..
…
uski doli jo uthi,
to
koi baat nahi smart hoon dusri pata loonga…;)
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santa vs banta
santa – yaar banta tune poore toilet me potty kyu kar di?
banta – yaar ye mobile bhi na!
santa – kya hua?
banta – tune “idea” ka ad nahi dekha
“walk when u talk”
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs man
after a big accident, a man was crying : o god! i have lost my lef hand?
santa : control yourself my friend. don’t cry. see that man. he has lost
his head. is he crying?
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Santa vs Ladki
santa (ladki ko chedte hue): hor soniya ki haal he…??
ladki (gusse me) boli: jo teri behn ka hai.
santa (hans kar): woh to pregnant hai!!!
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santa vs banta
santa: yaar tumne college ana q chhor diya?
banta: yaar actually mere
papa kehta hai ke
ak jagah bar bar jane se
izzat kam ho jati hai....
hahahaha...
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samta vs banta
ek bus accident hua
banta:haye mera paoon
santa :chilla kyun raha hai dekh vo mar gaya hai phirbhi chup-chap leta hai
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs wife
wife to santa : “you don’t love me at all”
santa points towards their five children and says
“do you think i donwloaded them from google”
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Joke Posted on : 7 Oct 2015
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santa vs banta
santa : tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
banta : google kaur.
santa : ye kaisa naam hai?
banta : yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!
Views : 188 |
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santa vs banta
santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha
banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
santa – meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. beta fail ho gaya,
biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me
paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha
aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!
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santa vs banta
banta : what is the similarity between marriage and 11:59 pm?
santa : dono ke baad 12 bajte hai aur din badal jate hai!
Views : 168 |
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santa vs banta
santa ko rota dekhkar banta ne pucha kya hua?
santa : meine 2 ton ka ac kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!
Views : 144 |
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husband vs wife
wife: shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rose gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
husband: machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!
Views : 186 |
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Wife - Begum
wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
ans: kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi be-gum ho jai hai!!!
Views : 159 |
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TV vs Biwi
jitne channel tv ke,
utne nakhre biwi ke,
tv chalta hai remote se,
biwi chalta hai note se.
Views : 164 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Sardar vs singer
sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : ye chalega kaise?
sala singer hi mara pada hai
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sardar vs banta
ek chor sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha. sardar hasne laga banta : wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho. sardar : bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
Views : 153 |
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Nurse vs Santa
nurse : mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
santa : wah g wah kya technology hai, biwi meri hospital hai, aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Wife vs Sardar
a sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. he suspected
and asked to his wife, “ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”
wife replied : tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
sardar : three months
wife : aur meri shaadi ko?
sardar : 3 months.
wife : aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
sardar : 3 months.
wife : total kitne months hue?
sardar : oye 9 months & start dancing balle balle!!!!
Views : 162 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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baacho ke MAMU
jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,
jo jate hai unke piche,
wo aate hai caro ke neeche,
jo kehte hai jaanu,
wahi bante hai baacho ke mamu!!!
Views : 148 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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policeman vs Beta
a policeman to his son : tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
aaj se tumhara khelna aur tv dekhna band.
beta : ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado
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sardar vs Doctor
sardar to doctor: jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
doctor: koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
sardar: kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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santa vs banta
santa : yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
banta : kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!
Views : 146 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Mareez vs Doctor
mareez:maine bohut dinse cigarette chodne ke liee kosis karta hu magar agar nahi krparta hu.
doctor:jaldi se petrol pump par koi job le lo.
Views : 146 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Mareez vs Doctor
patient doctor ko bola --> doctor sahab mujhe dur ka nazar nahi ata hai..
doctor na kaha-- > wo asmaan par kia hai?
mareez --> wo suraj hai
doctor > aabay andhay is s e duur kia khudha ko dekhaga keya..!
Views : 135 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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12 Boys planed
12 boys planed to propose a girl
10 came with a rose..
but 1 came with a ring – thats confidence
but what about the other 1?
wo sala baraat lekar aaya – over confidence!
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Romantic but real Fact
romantic but real fact…
jo aankho se rehte hai door…
.
..
…
jo aankho se rehte hai door…
..
…
woh questions exams me aate hai zaroor…!
Views : 158 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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GAAJAR vs Khargosh
ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : gaajar hai?
lohar inkar kar deta.
ek din lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne khargosh ke daant tod diye.
fir..
fir kya…
agle din khargosh aaya aur bola…
gaajar ka juice hai kya???
Views : 155 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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this is a classic
this is a classic ::
santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya
aur apni wall pe likha :
“yaha thukna mana hai”
****************************************
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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once more
ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya ,
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. sab log phir se bole ,
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole ,
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo,
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu,
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.”
tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge,
tumko gana padega.”
Views : 128 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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girl vs shopkeeper
girl- ye wishper kitne ka hai?
shopkeeper- ji 200 ka
girl- sahi laga doge
shopkeeper- ji lagaana aapko khud hi padega.
Views : 154 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Teacher vs Student
teacher – bolo a for apple ,
student – a for apple,
teacher – jor se bolo,
student – jai mata dee!!
Views : 111 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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old vs new
old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera
intazar hai.
new : duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna
chautha taiyaar hai…!
Views : 121 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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shrabi vs bhaghwan
1 shrabi roz shiv mandir pe sir tekta tha.
1 din pujaari ne shiv ke jagah ganesh murti rakhi,
shraabi aya dekha bola- chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha.
Views : 139 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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pita vs son
pita:agar tu is baar bhi fail ho gaya to mujhe pita mat kehna.
kuch din bad
pita:kya hua tere result ka?
son:sorry yaar ram prasad mai fail ho gaya.
Views : 143 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Teacher vs Student
teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge
student-shadi..
teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge
student-dulha..
teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge
student-dulhan!
Views : 125 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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Mareez vs Doctor
mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon.
doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai?
mareez:-kaun si bimaari?
Views : 114 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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teacher vs bachcha
teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena.
ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai.
Views : 116 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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librarian vs aadmi
ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain.
librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge.
Views : 125 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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ladka vs ladki
ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha,
doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha,
teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha…
is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin.
Views : 123 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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malik vs naukar
maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya..
naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,
Views : 114 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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mummy vs baby
chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom
ki light jal gayi,
mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!!
Views : 123 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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aadmi vs bhagwan
ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha,
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?”
bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.”
aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?”
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.”
Views : 110 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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aadmi vs bhagwan
ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se u.s.a tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.”
bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” aadmi bola,
“to phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.”
bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.”
Views : 117 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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murgi vs anda
ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”
Views : 139 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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raja vs rani
raja or rani ne fix kiya ki ab baat mobile se nhi kabutar se karenge.1 din rani ne bina khat k kabutar uda diya.raja bola:
ye kya?
rani boli miss call yaar.
Views : 127 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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police vs man
police: did you know drinking and driving is aganist the law?
man: then why is there parking lots at the bar?
(police is speachless)
Views : 101 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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mom vs kid
kid: can i have a5 million dollars mommy?
mom: money doesn't grow on trees!
kid: what is money made out of?
mom: paper..
kid: what is paper made of?
mom: wood..
kid:where does wood from?
mom: trees..
kid: see money does grow on trees!
mom: ...
kid: so ... where's my money at?????
Views : 101 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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excellent answers
question : what is love and explain in details ?.........(40 marks)
usa's student.......
answer: love is life.
(marks : 10 from 40)
uk's student......
answer : love is pain.
(marks : 10 from 40)
indian student........answer :
.
definition:
a serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated
- types:
1 sided & 2 sided
- age:
usually occurs in teenages but nowdays can be found in any age
- symptoms:
tension
daydreaming
insomnia
phone addiction
- diagnosis by:
diary
photos
mobile
-treatment:
anti-love therapy by father's shoe
or
mother's sandal......
(marks 40 from 40) excellent !
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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read loud
read this out loud:
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is an cat
this is idiot cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
now read the third word in all the sentences.
Views : 98 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
boy vs girl
before marriage:
boy: ah at last. i can hardly wait.
girl: do you want me to leave?
boy: no don't even think about it.
girl: do you love me?
boy: of course. always have and always will.
girl: have you ever cheated on me?
boy: never. why are you even asking?
girl: will you kiss me?
boy: every chance i get.
girl: will you hit me?
boy: hell no. are you crazy?
girl: can i trust you?
boy: yes.
girl: darling!
after marriage: (read from bottom to top)
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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boy vs girl
boy: hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?
girl: i have a boyfriend.
boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.
girl: what does that have to do with anything?
boy: i thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.
Views : 193 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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great idea
teacher: did you finish you homework?
kid: did you finish grading my test?
teacher: i have other children's tests to grade
kid: i have other teachers homework to do
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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girl vs boy
boy : marry me.. ?
girl: do you have a house..?
boy : no..
girl: do you have a bmw car.. ?
boy : no..
girl: how much is your salary.. ?
boy : no salary.. but,..
girl: no but. you have nothing.. how can i
marry you.??
leave please.!
boy: (talk to himself) i have one villa, 3
property lands, 3 ferrari, 2porsche.. why i
still need to buy bmw.?! how can i get the
salary when actually i am the boss..
Views : 172 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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boy vs girl
boy: the principal is so dumb!
girl: do you know who i am?
boy: no...
girl: i am the principal's daughter!
boy: do you know who i am?
girl: no...
boy: good! *walks away*
Views : 165 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Oct 2015
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solid insult
police: where do u live?
me: with my parents
police: where does ur parents live?
me: with me
police: where do u all live?
me: together
police: where is ur house?
me: next to my neighbors house
police: where is your neighbors house?
me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
police: tell me
me: next to my house
Views : 164 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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10 facts
i know 10 facts about you:
fact 1: you are reading this.
fact 2: you can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
fact 3: you just tried it.
fact 4: you're smiling.
fact 6: you're smiling or laughing again.
fact 7: you didn't notice i missed fact 5.
fact 8: you just checked it.
fact 9: you're smiling again.
fact 10: you like this
Views : 142 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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discoverer of england
teacher : pappu, go to the map and find england.
pappu : here it is!
teacher : correct. now, class, who discovered england?
class : pappu!
Views : 194 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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new technology
ek aadmi apne naak se aawaj nikal k kehta h ki mera phone bj rha h. its new technology.
dusra aadmi awaj apne neck se nikal k kehta h ki meri watch alarm di h. its new technology.
ye sb dekh kr tisra admi presan ho jata h or wo apne pichwade se paddu kr k kehta h mera fax aa rha h its new technology.
Views : 235 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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girl vs boy
girl: oye ladke tu kha ja rha h.
boy: hanging garden chalegi kya.
moral paise wale boys dikhe nhi ki ladkiya aa gyi bhikh mangne.
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa vs banta
ek baar santa nha rha tha kisi ne uska kapda chura liya aur banta bahar se awaj de kr bola mujhe bhi nahana h tu jldi nikal phir bechera santa tisue paper body pr lapet kr bahar aaya.
Views : 208 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
Kharab sangat ka asar
wife: raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.
husband: kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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Doubt about Mahabharata
in a remote village of india, once masterji is teaching the mahabharat katha to class 6 students. he is at the ‘krishna janma’ part of it.
masterji : “kansa heard the akashwani that his sister’s 8th child is going to kill him. he was furious. he ordered to put vasudev and devki behind the bars. first son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning… second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. third one is born…
ramu : i have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused).
masterji : “ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come you have one?”
ramu : masterji, if kansa knew that devaki’s 8th child was going to kill him, “why the hell did he put vasudev and devaki in the same cell?”
masterji fainted.
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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Munnabhain and circuit
circiut: bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
mera sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please.
munna bhai: kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
circiut: nahin bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega.
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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sardar vs pandit
sardar to pandit-ap k sir pe choti q h?
pandit-is se mere dimag me vichar aate h
sardar-sala idhar to pura tata-sky laga h
fir b kuch nhi ata.
Views : 282 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa vs banta
banta cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
santa : tu pipe laga kar cig q pe raha hai
banta : doctor ne kaha, cig-bidi se dur rehna.
Views : 225 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
girl vs boy
girl- kitna pyar krte ho mujhse?
boy- shahjahan jaisa.
girl- to tajmahal bnwao.
boy- zamin kharid liya hu bs tumhare marne ka intjar kr raha hu......
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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stupid answer
teacher to kg kid: hw many mnths in a year?
kid: 12
teacher: hw did u knw?
kid: baara mahine me bara tarike se tujhko pyar jataunga re!
dhinka chika dhinka chika
Views : 241 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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intelligent netaji
tcher- netaji, apka beta fail ho gaya he aur aap laddu khila rahe he?
netaji- 70 ladko ki class me 60 fail hai, bahumat to mere bete k sath he.
Views : 185 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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boy v/s girl
girl - ur name?
boy- black lion
g -r u joking?
b - no, it means kaalu singh.
and ur's
girl- soft underwear
boy-r u joking?
girl-no it means komal chadda.
Views : 200 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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solid insult
ladki pic upload karke likhti hai : hii friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..? .
.
.
.
.
. .
boy : tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai to ghar me 500 rs. ka
sheesha bhi lagaya hoga.... uss mein dekh le, humse kya poochhti hai 'bhootni' kahi ki....
Views : 192 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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nitesh vs laloo
nitesh: tujhe swimming aati hai?
laaloo: no!
nitesh:tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
laaloo: tujhe aati hai?
nitesh:haan!
laaloo: fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai…
Views : 202 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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intelligent son
father: beta ye kaisi machis laaye ho. inme se ek bhi teeli nahi jal
rahi.
funny son: kya baat kartay ho papa sab ki sab check kar kay laya
hoon.
Views : 186 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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boy in kbc
amitab in kbc- pehla sawal 1000ka
whats ur father name?
chikku-life line, phone a frnd
amitabh- kisko lagaye?
chikku-meri maa
chikku(maa se) maa mere pitaji ka kya nam hai?
maa-sawal kitne ka hai
chikku-1000rs ka
maa-quit kar de
1000rs k liye ghar me mahabharat nahi chaiye
Views : 182 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
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great india
chor pakadne ki machine bani.
us-1 din mein 9 chor pakde gaye,
china mein 30,
uk mein 50,aur
india mein
1 hour mein machine hi chori ho gayi.!!
india rocks all are shocks
Views : 107 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
gobar taste
pappu : kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai !
papa : hey bhagwan! na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.
gobar ka swad bhi pata hai..!“
Views : 380 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa ask banta for his history paper
banta-tera history ka paper kaisa hua ?
santa-’bhout bura’,
saalo ne mere birth se b phale k question puch rakhe the.
Views : 215 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
santa banta
boss: where were you born?
sardar: india ..
boss: which part?
sardar: what 'which part'? whole body was bon on india.
Views : 160 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Oct 2015