rahul kumar's Profile230 Members viewed this Profile

Last Seen on : 3-Mar-2017
Member Since : 9-Aug-2016
Welcome to my profile page. I'm rahul kumar From Hazaribagh, India. Currently I'm doing my job. Along with that i'm also using all the services of Uminto.com in my free time and its awesome. There are so many things to learn in Uminto.com. My area of Specialization is Auto/Auto Ancillary. I used to play games and hourly quizzes daily on Uminto.com.
Basic Information:
Date of Birth : Sunday, March 23, 1997 (19 Years)
Gender : Male
Contact Information:
Mobile Number : 91######38
Email Address : ra••••••••@•••••••.com
Location : Hazaribagh, India
Pincode : 825301

Uminto Activities of rahul kumar

Credited Rewards : 57396
Debited Rewards : 50200
Current Rewards : 7196
Quiz Played : 2
Quiz Score : 0
Movie Review Posted : 18
Jupiter Money Level : 32
Jupiter Money Score : 12890
Umnito Flip Level: 2
Umnito Flip Score : 10

Photos of rahul kumar

Movie Reviews Posted By Rahul Kumar

Kaabil
(According to Rahul Kumar Kaabil is a 5 star movie)
rohan, 31, is a dubbing artist. his days are spent in the studio, nights at home. in today’s complex world, rohan is a simple man with one dream — to lead a normal life and in time, to find someone with whom he can build a happy home. his journey leads him to meet the independent and level-headed supriya. it’s love at first sight for rohan. he wins her over with his honesty and optimism. the two discover happiness, laughter and passion. supriya becomes his life and her happiness becomes more important than his own. love gives them a fairytale and the two get married. together, they begin to build the world of their dreams. together, they believe they can achieve anything.
View all reviews on Kaabil

Review Posted on : 26 Jan 2017
Ok Jaanu
(According to Rahul Kumar Ok Jaanu is a 4 star movie)
the thing that works most in ok jaanu’s favour is its screenplay, kept intact from its tamil predecessor. it is a scene-for-scene remake and capitalizes on great moments from the original film. the music (largely retained) with gulzar’s new lyrics also does a throwback to ok kanmani in the best way possible. in this movie sradha kapur acted very well and in this mobvie the best song is the hamma song
View all reviews on Ok Jaanu

Review Posted on : 23 Jan 2017
Xxx: Return Of Xander Cage
(According to Rahul Kumar Xxx: Return Of Xander Cage is a 4 star movie)
this is a hollywood movie in which xander cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly eturns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler augustus gibbons. james bond meets the fast and the furious, only with skateboards and motorcycles. it has some of its influences’ worst impulses, which let it go over the top in almost every way, good sense be damned. but it’s fun and mostly inoffensive, never taking itself too seriously while it rewards its inexplicable fans. better still, it makes every effort to borrow from the fast series’ latter-day push for more diverse heroes, something the action genre needs right now.
View all reviews on Xxx: Return Of Xander Cage

Review Posted on : 21 Jan 2017
Haraamkhor
(According to Rahul Kumar Haraamkhor is a 4 star movie)
the film unfolds through the eyes of two prepubescent boys kamal and his notorious friend mintu. kamal loves sandhya and mintu suggests bizarre ways to help kamal woo the girl. the two rightly suspect that something’s brewing between sandhya and shyam and thus end up following the two everywhere. meanwhile, completely unaware of the boys’ intentions, sandhya, abandoned by her mother and concerned for her standoffish father, finds solace in shyam. she overlooks his violent outbursts as her sexual involvement with him, clouds her judgement. shyam on the contrary, is an opportunist, who manipulates the girl and even his wife for his selfish interests. however, he is not entirely at fault as the girl voluntarily leads him on. haraamkhor addresses a significant issue without taking sides and that’s commendable. sadly, the righteous social awareness disclaimers that appear frequently during the ‘diluted controversial’ scenes, do not embody the film’s dark humour or audacious nature.
View all reviews on Haraamkhor

Review Posted on : 16 Jan 2017
Passengers
(According to Rahul Kumar Passengers is a 3 star movie)
space is a mysterious place: majestic, abound and infinite. but it is still not a bigger mystery than passengers. is it a space opera, an adventure film, an emotional drama or a love story? it tries to be everything at the same time but ends up being a wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey mess. in theory, passengers could turn on any science fiction fan: a 120-year journey through space where one man (chris pratt) in hyper-sleep wakes up 90 years before his time, all alone on a spaceship. he knows he will die alone. but before they reach their destination, he has the option of waking up anyone he chooses from the 5,000 fellow travellers. and he sets his eyes on the best one: a beautiful, charming sleeping beauty (jennifer lawrence). after winning a short battle with his conscience on whether or not have her suffer the same fate, he decides to do the deed. just like the prince in the fairy tale, he wakes her up without her consent. what a brilliant proposal! the idea itself gives you goosebumps. it sure gave me some when i first heard of it.
View all reviews on Passengers

Review Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
Why Him?
(According to Rahul Kumar Why Him? is a 4 star movie)
why him? begins with a netflix and chill facetime request wherein james franco’s pubic hair is shown for a long enough time that you know he’s not going to go any further in disrobing. the length of time spent on the threat of seeing franco’s penis is essentially repeated for 120+ minutes in this christmas comedy. the runtime is far too long because the jokes take a while to wind up (like the netflix and chill opening, the jokes most frequently center on the audience’s horror of franco fucking someone’s daughter). and writer-director john hamburg doesn’t know when to end a scene, let alone the movie.
View all reviews on Why Him?

Review Posted on : 3 Jan 2017
Assassin'S Creed
(According to Rahul Kumar Assassin'S Creed is a 4 star movie)
"assassin's creed" is a movie based on a game franchise where you jump around in period dress (the setting depends on which game you're playing) climb buildings and murder people. unlike the actual video game, "assassin's creed" isn't ridiculous and fun, but rather ridiculous and turgid. this is the fundamental disconnect that most video games (except maybe "mortal kombat," "super mario brothers: the movie" and "street fighter") run into: there's no way to translate the hands-on action of a video game to the silver screen, so many video game adaptations either have no plot, or get bogged down in blase set-up.
View all reviews on Assassin'S Creed

Review Posted on : 3 Jan 2017
Dangal
(According to Rahul Kumar Dangal is a 4 star movie)
dangal is a story of earnestness, diligence and personal sacrifice that is needed to create indomitable sports champions. it is story that revolves around phogat’s ambition to turn his daughters geeta (fatima sana shaikh) and babita (sanya malhotra) not just skilled wrestlers but also winners. it is a film that shows phogat’s immense faith in his daughters’ potential to make it big and to prove his ‘chhoris’ are far better than ‘chhoras’.
View all reviews on Dangal

Review Posted on : 24 Dec 2016
Rogue One
(According to Rahul Kumar Rogue One is a 3 star movie)
the collider movie talk crew have gushed about rogue one but now it’s time for them to dive deeper into the story, characters and specific events that took place in the film. from the very opening of the film to the end, the crew give you their spoiler heavy review.with the force awakens well known to the public, it’s time to embrace in a new kind of star wars film, the very first spinoff. gareth edwards, director of monsters and godzilla, took charge this time around to give us an intense and grounded war film set in the star wars universe. while star wars films have always had some sort of war depicting scenes, rogue one would stand out to give us a different look than we’ve seen before. the film stars felicity jones as jyn erso, daughter of galen erso, played by mads mikkelsen, diego luna as cassian andor and ben mendelsohn as orson krennic. the film also stars donnie yen, alan tudyk, riz ahmad and forest whitaker.
View all reviews on Rogue One

Review Posted on : 17 Dec 2016
Befikre
(According to Rahul Kumar Befikre is a 4 star movie)
ranveer singh and vaani kapoor starrer befikre is a romantic drama written, directed and produced by aditya chopra under his yash raj films banner. the film’s posters have already proved that the film is going to be one hot affair. it is being said that the there are in total 23 kisses shared between co-stars ranveer and vaani. ranveer is also going to go butt naked in this film which has raised the excitement levels for many. the film is slated to release on dec 9,2016.
View all reviews on Befikre

Review Posted on : 11 Dec 2016
Wajah Tum Ho
(According to Rahul Kumar Wajah Tum Ho is a 3 star movie)
it is an indian crime thriller movie which has been directed by vishal pandya and its being produced by bhushan kumar and krishan kumar under the banner of t-series flims. this erotic thriller borrows its title from a song of the romantic thriller flick, hate story 3,which was also produced by bhushan kumar. the soundtrack album of the film has been composed by mithoon and abhijit vaghani, where the music album has seven songs out of which four are recreated versions of youngsters classic. the storyline of the film revolves around a live murder that committed on television. the film features, sana khan, gurmeet choudhary and sharman joshi in the lead roles.
View all reviews on Wajah Tum Ho

Review Posted on : 2 Dec 2016
Kahaani 2
(According to Rahul Kumar Kahaani 2 is a 3 star movie)
the most awaited flick of actor vidya balan kahaani 2 going to hit sliver screens this friday world wide. the movie kahaani 2 is the sequel to the earlier movie which had been released in 2012. the movie is touted to be a mystery thriller movie which is being directed by sujoy ghosh and vidya balan will be seen playing the main lead role. earlier makers of the movie had released a new poster and trailer from the movie received the nice response from fans and film critics. vidya sinha (vidya balan) and her daughter mini live peacefully in the sleepy town of chandan nagore. vidya’s life revolves around mini. her greatest joys are the little things she does with her daughter like playing little games, going for walks, cleaning the house together etc. however, life has other plans; as mini is kidnapped and while trying to locate her daughter, vidya meets with a terrible accident landing her in a state of coma at the hospital. when inspector inderjeet singh (arjun rampal) arrives at the hospital in a response to the hit and run case, little does he expect the turn of events. as he investigates, he discovers that vidya sinha may not be all she appears.
View all reviews on Kahaani 2

Review Posted on : 2 Dec 2016
Rock On 2
(According to Rahul Kumar Rock On 2 is a 3 star movie)
rock on 2 was all about a generation, about love, about growing up, even chasing dreams. but this time round, farhan akhtar, shraddha kapoor, arjun rampal and purab kohli film has other plans in place it was never about the singing, but it was always about the music. eight years ago, rock on!! ticked all the right boxes for its songs and lyrics that spoke about a generation, about love, about growing up, even chasing dreams, quite uniquely, like sinbad the sailor.
View all reviews on Rock On 2

Review Posted on : 24 Nov 2016
Shivaay
(According to Rahul Kumar Shivaay is a 4 star movie)
shivaay (ajay devgn), a fearless himalayan mountaineer covered in lord shiva tattoos, heads to bulgaria to fulfill his nine-year-old daughter gaura’s (abigail eames) wish of seeing her mother olga (erika kaar), who abandoned them years ago. but their plan goes for a toss when the little girl gets kidnapped in the foreign land. rescuing her from the masked child-traffickers becomes his only reason for survival on heart-pounding beats of bolo har har, shivaay has a spectacular opening scene that sees ajay descending dangerous himalayan cliffs like a pro. the stunning cinematography captures the mountains like no hindi film has managed so far. you feel you are in for an adrenaline pumping ride and expect a nerve-racking survival drama to unfold in the hills, on the lines of ‘cliffhanger’ or ‘vertical limit’. however, the film takes a cliched spin and ends up looking like a slow-mo version of liam neeson’s ‘taken’ franchise. the abduction of his daughter turns our chillum-smoking cool trekker into an angry killer, who vows to bust the flesh trade racket in bulgaria. soon high-octane, gravity and death-defying action sequences take centre stage, which are on par with the hollywood films. an extended car-chase sequence in particular is outstanding.
View all reviews on Shivaay

Review Posted on : 24 Nov 2016
31St October
(According to Rahul Kumar 31St October is a 3 star movie)
it starts as just another day for delhi electric supply undertaking (desu) worker devinder singh. by 7:30am, he has already sent his children to school and is mentally preparing himself for the usual mundane day in office. but, all of that is going to change in next 110 minutes. 31st october is an account of that one day when the national capital burnt with its own rage after the then prime minister indira gandhi was assassinated by her sikh bodyguards beant singh and satwant singh. official estimates put the death toll in the aftermath of the riots to nearly 2,500 but it’s believed that the actual numbers are at least three times more. read more beiimaan love review: a terrible, torturous sunny leone film, zero star mirzya review: a colourful rendition of shakespeare in rajasthan ms?dhoni review: sushant’s film entertains, but stays away from controversies the accountant review: ben affleck’s film is an awkward assassin drama akira review: sonakshi sinha’s film is long, dull and incoherent island city review: this is what a big city does to you communal tension is growing every second in west delhi’s tilak nagar where devinder (vir das) and his wife tejinder (soha ali khan) live and killings start by the afternoon. it’s mayhem as rioters are catching up with every sikh at a pace beyond imagination. tilak nagar is an obvious target because of its dense sikh population, mostly middle class and helpless. local politicians see it as an opportunity to rise in the ranks and thus it’s likely to continue for a few more days. however, the violence is just one side of the coin. devinder has friends like pal (deepraj rana), yogesh (lakhwinder) and tilak (vineet sharma), who have vowed to get his family out of the barricaded tilak nagar area. but, is it already late? director shivaji lotan patil’s film opens with a sneak peek into the lives of some good samaritans. good-natured, god-fearing beings who look for a moment of affection and solace. they know each other for long and are as closely knit as a family.
View all reviews on 31St October

Review Posted on : 24 Nov 2016
Anna
(According to Rahul Kumar Anna is a 3 star movie)
in 2011, india woke up to a mass movement supporting the jan lokpal bill. leading the movement was the septuagenarian social activist, anna hazare, a name that inspired lakhs of people to stand up against corrupt practices in the country. the film traces anna’s life and the hardships he endured. if someone asked you who kisan baburao hazare was, chances are, you wouldn’t know. shorten it to anna hazare, and it’s hard not to have heard about the person, who has been termed the modern-age mahatma gandhi. though anna shot to fame among the masses with the jan lokpal protests, his preceding body of work is equally strong. the simplest example being the makeover he gave ralegan siddhi, his native place that is considered to be a model village by many. shashank udapurkar’s film (he plays the title role, too) opens up a book of kisan’s journey to becoming anna. as is the case with many biopics, the film is a typical rags-to-riches story, though the riches in this case translate to acclaim and appreciation for anna's social work. the film shows anna’s life in poverty, his growing-up years, the time he spent as a soldier in the indian army and the subsequent change of mind that led him on the path of social work. udapurkar’s portrayal is convincing, but it’s his screen resemblance to anna that earns brownie points; credit goes to make-up artist vikram gaikwad. the rest of the cast boasts of big names, but their roles are largely restricted to lending authenticity to the story. tanishaa mukerji does well in her small role as a tv reporter.
View all reviews on Anna

Review Posted on : 24 Nov 2016
Saansein
(According to Rahul Kumar Saansein is a 3 star movie)
saansein is directed by rajiv ruia and shot in mauritius which is also the location where horror unfolds in the movie. bhay (rajneesh duggal) is traveling to picturesque mauritius on a business trip. but it is not all business. he finds himself relaxing at a nightclub and is smitten by the performer at the club – shirin (sonarika bhadoria). shirin likes him too. he can feel it. but for some reason shirin is keeping him away. abhay, however, is determined to win shirin over and find out the reason behind her reluctance. what he doesn’t know is no one dares to go near her. she has many suitors, but they can never find her after the show as she simply disappears withing minutes after the show every day. abhay and shirin’s love for each other grows and he eventually finds out why she does not want him ear her. but the horrifying secrets do not deter him as he vows to free shirin from her bonds.
View all reviews on Saansein

Review Posted on : 24 Nov 2016
Force 2
(According to Rahul Kumar Force 2 is a 4 star movie)
i heard that in this in this movie joha abraham and aishwariya rai acted this movie is full of action and fight this movie is directed by abhinay deo this movie is the sequal of the movie force released on 2011 in this movie three raw agents are killed in china. one of them is inspector yash’s (john abraham) best friend, harish. but before dying, harish leaves inspector yash a clue indicating that something bigger has been set in motion. inspector yash then updates raw, and together with agent kk (sonakshi sinha), they discover that shiv sharma (tahir raj bhasin), a low-level employee of the indian embassy of budapest, is handing out details of undercover raw agents like pamphlets on a street corner. the thing that works in force 2’s favour is pacing. in spite of a familiar story, the action sequences are timed perfectly and executed stylishly; there are no songs except for a recreation of kaante nahi kat-te, which moves the story along. most of the climax sequence is shot like a first-person shooter game which is a refreshing experiment. but the experiments stop there. the story is excruciatingly generic. a mastermind has an ulterior motive behind betraying his nation; the heroes must then strike a balance between morality and vengeance. john abraham is intense and impressive when he’s breaking jaws and lifting cars, tahir raj bhasin (in an extension of his mardaani role) is good and shows his vulnerable side. sonakshi sinha’s half-hearted performance, however, can be partly blamed on her annoyingly underwritten character. kk is the worst-trained raw agent without an iota of intuition who has to be told to do everything. it’s your usual arm-candy role, padded with a layer of faux feminism.
View all reviews on Force 2

Review Posted on : 23 Nov 2016

Joke Posted By Rahul Kumar

More Santa-Banta Joke

blood group

pappu- doctor ke paas gaya.
doctor: kaun sa blood group hai aapka?
pappu- aazaad parinde, hum jadataar time facebook-whatsapp par rahte.
doctor: are blood group poochh raha hoon facebook-whatsapp ki. nahi

Views : 23    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Jan 2017
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santa ka job

banta: bro, i just left my job, i could not work for that boss after what he said to me.
santa: what happened, what did he say?
banta: you lazy duffer man....you are fired!

Views : 11    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Jan 2017
More Latest Joke

santa and teacher

teacher: 1869 me kya hua ? ram: gandhi ji ka janm hua.
teacher: ok beth jao.
teacher (santa se)- batao 1872 me kya hua ? santa: gandhi ji 3 saal k ho gaye

Views : 43    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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biwi ka bada parivar

santa- yaar.. suna hai teri patni bahut bade pariwar se aayi hai
banta- bade pariwar se nahi..
..bahut bade pariwar ko saath me le kar aayi hai

Views : 40    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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bakri ka anda

santa:aaj meri bakri ne pehla anda diya hai!
banta:bakri kaise anda de sakti hai?
santa:arre yaar maine apni murgi ka naam bakri rakha hai

Views : 27    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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chicken roti

santa roti ka 1 tukda khud or 1 murge ko khila raha tha
banta-ye kya kr rahe ho?
santa- hum khaandani log he roz roti chickn k saath khate he

Views : 24    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa ka histry exam

banta-tera history da paper kaisa hua ?
santa-’bhout bura’,
saalo ne mere birth se b phale k question puch rakhe the.

Views : 23    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa ka murgi ka dana

santa: maine apki dukan se murgi dana kharida tha
dukandar: to kya usme koi kharabi nikli
santa:mahina ho gya muje khet me boye ab tak murgi nhi ugi

Views : 23    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa ka bata ka excident

santa ke bete ka accident ho gaya
dr.- apke bete ke dono leg katne padenge
santa ne apna sar pakad liya
dr.- kya hua?
santa-kal hi nalayak ko nayi chappal dilayi thi

Views : 32    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa and pathar

::��:: santa banta short jokes ::��::
1 baar santa ko
raste me patthar mila
uspe likha tha
“patthar ko palat lo kch ban jaoge”
jaise hi usne palta
dusri taraf likha tha”bewkuf ban gya

Views : 21    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa ki roti

santa 14th floor se niche gir gaya,
girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khidki se
apni biwi ko roti banate huye dekha aur
wo zor se chilaya “mere liye mat banana…”

Views : 21    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
More Santa-Banta Joke

santa in date

santa date pe gya,
after dinner ahista se bola
main kuch kehna chahta hu ,tm naraz to nhi hogi?
girl shrma k-nhi ap kaho na
santa-bill adha-2 kr le.

Views : 20    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa and jahar

santa at medical store: i need poison
man:i cnt sell u
until u hav prescription

santa showed his weding card

man:sir badi botal dun ya choti

Views : 20    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa and gangubai

ek baar santa gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
gangubai: kaun ? santa: main !gangubai: main kaun?
santa: tu gangubai...:-)

Views : 21    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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sannta and police

santa drivs in to 1-way & cros no entry board police: no entry ka board nai dekha ? santa: mujhe laga film ka poster hai..

Views : 20    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santacand her wife

santa to his fatty wife: operation me mujhe kuch ho gya
to doctor se shadi kar lena
fatty wife: aisa kyu kah rahe ho?
santa: q ki badla lene ka yahi tarika he

Views : 21    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
More Pappu Joke

pappu and teacher

teacher pappu se: tumane homework kyon nahin kiya?
pappu: sir, kyonki main hostal mein rahata hoon.

Views : 20    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 9 Jan 2017
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santa and government

santa: why has the govt. fixed voting age 18 yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
banta: govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

Views : 26    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ki chatri ma hole

santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
sardar bola: oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Views : 20    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka chota bata

banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?

kyon?

itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!

Views : 19    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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best place to purpose a girl

snta- ladki ko prapose karne ki sabse safe jagah konsi he?
banta- mandir s-mandir kyu? b-qki waha ladkiyo k pairo me chappal nai hoti.

Views : 18    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ki much

santa: yaar tu itna bada ho gaya aur phir bhi abhi tak tere ko
dadhi- mooch nahi aayi?
banta :yaar main bilkul apni maa par gaya hoon

Views : 18    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa and baraf

santa baraf ka tukda haath me lekar gour se dekh raha tha
banta- kya kar rahe ho? santa- dekh raha hu ki leak kaha se ho raha hai.

Views : 17    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
More Latest Joke

ramdev baba and note

baba ramadev ka kahna hai
vo to modi jee nahi maane
varna 2000 ke note bhi rbi mein nahi
patanjali mein chhapte.

Views : 29    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
More Rajinikanth Joke

student and teacher

teacher class me student se bole - tumhen pata hai tumhaari umr mein mahaatma gaandhi ne b.a. kar liya tha.
1 student bola - sar hamen yah bhi pata hai ki aapaki umr mein bhagat singh phaansi chadh chuke the.

Views : 46    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
More Intellectual Joke

intellident ant

cheenti rikshi mein baithi aur ek pair baahar rakha
riksawala – madam pair andar rakho
cheenti – nahin ! raste mein haathi milega use laat maarani hai, kal yahi par mujhe vo aankh maar ke gaya tha.....cheeti hathi jokes 2017

Views : 50    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka question paper

santa ne exam ke lie question papers banaaya
pepar dekhate hee saare bachche behosh ho gae
question the –
1. cheen kis desh mein hai ?
2. 15 agast kis taareekh ko aata hai ?
3. red color kis rang ka hota hai ?
4. tamaatar ko hindi mein kya kahte hai ?
5. mumataaj ki kabr mein kaun dafan hai ?

Views : 18    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ki bike ki chori

santa ne apani bike gum jaane ki khushi mein party di.
kyonki vo khush tha ki vo kuchh der pahale hi bike par tha,
agar bike par hi hota to vah bhi gum ho jaata.

Views : 16    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka translation

teacher: translate – bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
santa: the tablets are walking in the market.

Views : 15    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka chapal

santa: doctor, aapko taanke lagane aate hai.
doc: haa aate hai,kaha lagane hai?
santa- mere chappal ma

Views : 15    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa and cigrate

banta cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
santa : tu pipe laga kar cig q pe raha hai
banta : doctor ne kaha, cig-bidi se dur rehna.

Views : 15    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santabka padosi ka bacha

santa=mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya
banta=fir kya kiya?
santa=maine kaha google pe search karlo, mil jaye to download kr lena.

Views : 16    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka game

santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala

Views : 16    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ka machli khana ka tarika

santa: oye banta machli khayega?
banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
santa: oye chadd yaar,chappal pahen ke kha lena.

Views : 15    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ki sadi

santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
banta- to isme prob kya hai?
santa-pata nahi mujha papa la jayanga ki nahi

Views : 14    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 6 Jan 2017
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santa ki yaad

santa: sharab pite pite rone laga
banta: kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
santa: yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai

Views : 23    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 5 Jan 2017
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santa and teacher

teacher santa se: dahi ka english bataao....?
.
.
santa: milk sleeping in the night

Views : 10    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 5 Jan 2017
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santa and lalaji

santa:lalaji dettol soap hai,
lala:ha,
santa:acha vala hai,
lala:ha,
santa: achi quality ka hai,
lala:ha bhai ha,
santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..

Views : 18    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 5 Jan 2017
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santa ka sapna

santa ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak santa apne bank nahi gaya,
qnki bank me likha tha..
“hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain”

Views : 53    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 30 Nov 2016

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