mother to johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
johnny: “no mom, all the questions were simple, it was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!
patient to his friend: the nurse in this hospital is really wonderful. she touched me and my fever got cured immediately.
friend: yeah, i could hear her touch your cheek in the next room.
did you hear what the english, the irish and the scots did when they heard the world was coming to an end? the english all went out and got drunk. the irish all went to church. and the scots had a closing down sale.