Kanishk Mathur's Profile1499 Members viewed this Profile

Last Seen on : 18-Oct-2016
Member Since : 10-Mar-2016
Welcome to my profile page. I'm Kanishk Mathur From Jaipur, India. Currently I'm doing my job. Along with that i'm also using all the services of Uminto.com in my free time and its awesome. There are so many things to learn in Uminto.com. My area of Specialization is Other. I used to play games and hourly quizzes daily on Uminto.com.
Basic Information:
Date of Birth : Friday, April 19, 2002 (14 Years)
Gender : Male
Contact Information:
Mobile Number : 88######25
Email Address : is••••••••••@•••••••.com
Location : Jaipur, India
Pincode : 302020

Uminto Activities of Kanishk Mathur

Credited Rewards : 11681
Debited Rewards : 400
Current Rewards : 11281
Quiz Played : 4
Quiz Score : 160
Movie Review Posted : 7
Jupiter Money Level : 1
Jupiter Money Score : 70
Umnito Flip Level: 3
Umnito Flip Score : 40

Photos of Kanishk Mathur

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Movie Reviews Posted By Kanishk Mathur

Batman V Superman
(According to Kanishk Mathur Batman V Superman is a 4 star movie)
batman v superman: dawn of justice pits batman aka bruce wayne against superman aka clark kent, but as i say in my video review above, it is a tricky proposition putting these two forces of good opposite each other in battle. but somehow director zack snyder — rebounding from the generally miserable man of steel three years ago as well as the awful sucker punch — has made (with the collaboration of screenwriters david s. goyer and chris terrio) an extremely dark but compelling and complex movie that pits the comic book heroes against each other in ways that make sense — or at least helps carry us through the long setup to the ultimate battles that make this such an imax-worthy enterprise. in fact i would say the way to see this movie is in real imax stadiums, whether it be 2d or 3d. the scope and production value in that format is just stunning, and the aspect ratio changes to scenes actually shot in imax are awesome. another highlight for me was the casting of ben affleck, who is the perfect batman/bruce wayne at this point. he won’t make anyone forget christian bale, but this batman is far more brooding and angrier. we understand why he has it in for superman, blaming him for the tragedy in metropolis that so affected wayne enterprise employees when the building collapsed. although superman is presented as a dutiful hero two years after those events and the alien attacks, there is a complexity now where people, particularly wayne, are asking: just how much power can one man have for good and is he using it for the greater masses, or himself? i don’t really understand some early critiques of the film from people who seem to want to see their comic superheroes in explicit terms of black and white. this is the rare entry in the genre that provides shades of gray on these iconic figures and seems to be right in line with the world we’re living in now. to that, i say well done. as for the other actors, henry cavill eturns for another round in this man of steel role but is given more interesting stuff to play as his alter ego clark kent, thus setting up the ultimate showdown between the pair as well as their joining together to fight an even bigger force of evil. hilariously played by jesse eisenberg, the chief villain is lex luthor, now a tech giant — a sort of mark zuckerberg on steroids. he’s the social nitwit, a manic, power-mad force of bad nature who takes sides in the superhero confrontations for his own benefit. oddly all three of these guys have father issues to deal with, having lost their dads and mentors in very different ways. at the start of my screening, snyder appeared begging viewers not to give away any surprises or plot points, so to go on in detail much beyond the basic setup would put me in spoiler jail. suffice it to say viewer surveys are saying audiences are most looking forward to seeing wonder woman aka diana prince (gal gadot), but you will have to wait over two hours for her emergence in this 153-minute movie. it’s an amusing teaser for wonder woman’s own movie, and she acquits herself nicely in battle with batman and superman against our mystery villain. (hint: warners seems still in love with godzilla movies.) the supporting cast is fine. amy adams is back as lois lane, diane lane as martha kent and laurence fishburne as daily planet editor perry white. jeremy irons ably takes on bruce wayne’s confidant alfred, who tells him sagely, “even you’ve grown to old to die young, not for lack of trying.” love that line — best and most pointed in the movie. another oscar winner, holly hunter, turns up as a u.s. senator in charge of hearings on superman. the dark knight trilogy’s christopher nolan and emma thomas have executive producer credits here. charles roven and deborah snyder (zack’s wife) serve as producers. warner bros is releasing the film around the world, and it should hit about 30,000 screens. pow!
View all reviews on Batman V Superman

Review Posted on : 25 Mar 2016
Kapoor & Sons
(According to Kanishk Mathur Kapoor & Sons is a 4 star movie)
music directors are amaal mallik and badshah, jeffery f bierman handles cinematography works, editor is shivkumar v panicker. the distributor is fox star studios. sony music india brought the musical rights of the movie. this super crazy drama is on its way, and this is fawad khan’s second film after khoobsurat. karan johar prefers simple melody drama believes it will trick him to success, two brothers will eturn home to a hill station in tamil nadu and visits their grandfather in between them you will witness great performances. what happens besides the fact is, both the brothers are forced to meet their childhood home in which their 90 years old grandfather will stay, he wanted to see their grandsons he gets a heart attack, so they are forced to leave the home. they will visit tamil nadu to meet their grandfather and creates tragedy in the story with few misunderstandings. one beautiful day rahul and arjun fall in love with the same girl and start creating their problems. this love triangle story deals with a family, on the other hand, their parents will face problems with their friends. so it is all about a modern family likes and dislikes which exist. in other words, we can say this drama will impress the audience which has new content. first, half opens well with the introduction of rahul and arjun. while the second half is not predictable easily. it will make you laugh and cry at the end you will leave the hall with smiling face. khan and malhotra play brothers rahul and arjun, while their parents, harsh and sunita, are played by rajat kapoor and ratna pathak shah. rahul is a successful novelist who lives in london; arjun, on the other hand, is struggling to write a novel of his own while working part-time in a bar in new jersey, united states. after their 90-year-old grandfather (played by rishi kapoor, hidden behind some impressive, benjamin-buttonesque prosthetics) suffers a heart attack, the two eturn to their family home, where their parents are in the midst of a rough patch, emotionally as well as financially. ‘kapoor & sons’ review: we are family, i got all my issues with me 3 hours ago | updated 3 hours ago suprateek chatterjee entertainment editor dharma productions/youtube shakun batra’s kapoor & sons (since 1921) is set in the lovely nilgiri hill station of coonoor, tamil nadu. it’s not quite apparent why, though, since the setting contributes very little to the screenplay aside from visual relief, be it shots of its beautiful tea estates or even a daytime sequence in a graveyard. the language, the culture, and the people are absent from this movie about a dysfunctional punjabi family who seem to have never interacted with the locals. seriously, not one person in this film speaks in — or is even shown to be — tamil. but perhaps we could ignore this possibly unintentional bit of cultural chauvinism displayed by the makers of this ensemble hindi drama (although we really shouldn’t). after all, this is a dharma productions movie, where eye-candy is of a high priority. with a cast of serious lookers that includes alia bhatt, fawad khan (exuding a boyish charm here that will doubtless prove irresistible to his ever-growing fan-base), and sidharth malhotra, along with coonoor itself, it achieves that rather well. khan and malhotra play brothers rahul and arjun, while their parents, harsh and sunita, are played by rajat kapoor and ratna pathak shah. rahul is a successful novelist who lives in london; arjun, on the other hand, is struggling to write a novel of his own while working part-time in a bar in new jersey, united states. after their 90-year-old grandfather (played by rishi kapoor, hidden behind some impressive, benjamin-buttonesque prosthetics) suffers a heart attack, the two eturn to their family home, where their parents are in the midst of a rough patch, emotionally as well as financially. oddly enough, despite several chaotically edited sequences that have little breathing space and rely largely on exposition, the film feels bloated. writers ayesha devitre and batra interweave several conflict-ridden story threads in this 140-minute drama to mixed effect. the brothers share a complicated relationship, which is somewhat difficult to buy in parts. perhaps it’s because khan shines in his role, delivering a well-calibrated performance that matches the movie’s tonality, while malhotra lags far behind. his lack of serious acting chops is quite visible in this film, wherein he struggles to find the right pitch. his emotions seem superficial, not internalised. he is especially unconvincing in a scene towards the end, a crucial moment for his character, where he looks as though he might break into his trademark kinda-shy-but-not-really grin in the midst of an emotional outburst. bhatt plays, well, a version of herself, and this is, frankly, a bit of a disappointment. as tia, who hails from mumbai but happens to be staying there on a picturesque property close to the kapoors, she serves up the same charming combination of practiced coquettishness and measured quirk that we’ve seen in her past, i don’t know, four on-screen outings. while her performance is not ineffective (she could probably do this in her sleep, at this point), it is crippled somewhat by an underwritten character that seems to exists for only two purposes: to catalyze the weakest conflict point in the film, one involving both brothers; and to give audiences the chance to see bhatt and malhotra, a real-life couple, as an on-screen pair they can root for. as it progresses, kapoor & sons ping-pongs between heartwarming family bonding and serious, life-altering conflict. oddly enough, despite several chaotically edited sequences that have little breathing space and rely largely on exposition, the film feels bloated. scenes featuring the family bonding over an acoustic guitar session work well despite some incoherence (reminiscent of similarly choppy scenes in last year’s piku), while music-video-esque dance numbers like ‘kar gayi chull’ disrupt the narrative somewhat. sameer uddin’s piano-and-strings score works well in some scenes, but sounds like needlessly sentime.
View all reviews on Kapoor & Sons

Review Posted on : 18 Mar 2016
(According to Kanishk Mathur Zubaan is a 3 star movie)
it is an dream project of mozez singh, and this film released at busan international film festival on october 1st and tomorrow on 4th march this zubaan movie gonna release world wide in theaters itself. it is an musical drama film and here we are gonna review it, and we provide zubaan movie review and rating. zubaan is an interesting musical drama film made by this generation music stars and music lovers. it is an message oriented musical drama film and in fact this movie gonna create sensation in the field of music. the movie had interesting story and frankly too many facts about, singing and singer as well as musicians. this is surely an interesting one those who love to listen or watch music shows, and it is completely this generation. reports says that the film is the coming of age story of a young boy who loses his faith and develops a fear of music & his journey in fighting that fear and thus finding himself, though it is not regular film, it is completely unique and i am sure you feel this movie interesting and lovable if you are a music lover and if you have bit knowledge in music. mozez singh kept all his imaginations, thoughts and his passion towards music in this film, and this may gonna be the sensational hit of the year 2016. zubaan film having new and growing stars namely vicky kaushal in male lead role, sarah jane dias in female lead role and raaghav chanana khanna in supporting key role. and in fact many does took part in making this great musical drama film, after the success of this film they will be recognized in whole bollywood film industry. zubaan is complete musical drama film and it is absolutely based on lead star dilsher (vicky kaushal). the whole is related with the lead star and the film, at every particular instance in the movie you find interlink and relation with the lead star dilsher. he is a fond knowledge person in music and he always wanted to be the ‘lion of gurdaspur’ and here gurdaspur represents the village name. dilsher always dreams and works hard to achieve his dream. apparently the giant business man of the same village manipulates him and pretends him before he achieve his goal. so, finally dilsher moves to delhi to attain his goals. here, the screenplay of the movie is quite impressive and the locations chosen for village scenes are greatly attracted everyone. mean while he meets amira (sarah jane dias) who is an female lead for the film, and she is a passionate and she even has a desire that to make her brother who is allegedly addicted to music and drugs. she makes him to realize that music is the only habit of doing according to passion and not to distract life or career. while during these moments, dilsher spends some time with amira, as a result dilsher learns many things from amira and finally stars self-discovering himself. here movie turns to a great part. dilsher badly wants to achieve his dreams, and puts his outmost efforts in achieving them and finally achieves them. the major problems that comes to dilsher is when he lose his father in his childhood and the business giant of the village tends him to do work for him, as a result dilsher has to fight between past and future. dilsher does have own dream of becoming a popular and unremarkable singer, but his past doesn’t let him to become successful. at this time, he meets amira and learn a lot from her and become moderate singer in the society. on that situation, amira falls in love with dilsher. amira after the death of her young brother, she used to organize a sequence named dhruvtara in the remembrance of her brother who is allegedly addicted to music and drugs. at that the sequential meetings amira impresses dilsher, and finally they go in a deep relationship.
View all reviews on Zubaan

Review Posted on : 16 Mar 2016
Teraa Surroor
(According to Kanishk Mathur Teraa Surroor is a 3 star movie)
go with zero expectations and i promise you, teraa surroor will surprise you. more than anything else, it’s a very good-looking film. and i don’t mean the cast where admittedly, we have some suave, dapper and just plain interesting faces lending a gravitas to the alistair maclean brand of thrills, you know the sort where one smart-aleck played by the one and only himesh reshammiya takes on the entire police force of dublin and—guess what?—emerges a winner. the plot, in case you haven’t guessed by now, is a bit of a stretch. but it never tests your patience. and there is a very good reason for that. director shawn arranha (who once upon time made a mall horror flick entitled hide n seek) never lets the momentum flag. the last 20 minutes is actually clocked on screen according to the time-limit set for the hero to rescue his sweetheart. arranha sustains the pace even when songs jump into the narrative with clockwork regularity. but then himesh and music go hand in hand. playing the brooding assassin with a chip on his shoulder he has a song for every occasion in the script. and guess what? the songs fit! since the plot—and i don’t know how much of it i should give out—is about a lovers’ tiff and a crisis far away from home, himesh’s music focuses on the theme of judaai and dard. wisely he doesn’t sing all the songs himself. voices like arjit bring variety to the soundtrack which is, elsewhere, replete with the sound of screeching cars and cops shouting, ‘stop, or i’ll shoot.’ teraa surroor is not the best of thrillers. but it’s sensible and sexy. and by that i don’t mean unclothed female bodies. the city of dublin is made to look inviting and intriguing. if only the actors, and that includes the male actors, didn’t use so much makeup. it mars the natural beauty of the locations, captured by cameraman maneesh chandra bhatt with touristic affection topped by some residential pride. himesh’s well-toned physique goes well with a face that won’t give anything away. he plays a dangerous assassin who is on the most lethal mission of his life: to save his love from danger. lurking lusciously in the sinewy shadows are various assassins who often look more harmless than harmful. but that’s okay. none of this is to be taken serious. done in the spirit of fun, teraa surroor showcases himesh’s musical aptitudes and his penchant for playing poker-faced protagonists. wisely he surrounds himself with a terrific supporting cast. among the actors who prop up the thrills in the thriller i must make special mention of shekhar kapoor who as the india’s ambassador to ireland (yes, that’s what he plays) delivers some outrageously undiplomatic lines. watch him play this utterly iconoclastic diplomat with his tongue lodged in cheek and you’d know shekhar got the film’s mood right. the other utterly endearing performance comes from naseeruddin shah as a jail-breaking expert named –get a load of this–robin dharmraj santino. his prison-bound scenes with himesh are pricelessly precocious. naseer gives himesh tips on how to rescue his sweetheart from jail. along the way the thespian must have given himesh tips on how to hold a scene together . himesh manages well. though i didn’t notice much chemistry between him and his co-star, the romantic portions are shot in the spirit of music videos with the lighting creating an illusion of luminosity even when the actors are not seen doing much to lift the mood of the melodies. new find farah karimaee is sometimes pretty, sometimes haggard, always over madeup even when languishing in prison. as mentioned earlier, don’t focus on the actress’ manicured nails in jail. just concentrate on the smooth surfaces where the director plays rough mind games with a softness of touch that promises thrills but no real harm is done to anyone. even when bullets pierce their chests the blood spills in choreographed spurts. no harm can come to the people in this film. they are protected by a force greater than god. himesh’s music. a wise man once said, 'tumhe na uthake museum mein rakhna chahiye. ticket lagna chahiye tumhe dekhne ke liye.' a fool actually took his sarcasm as suggestion and decided to become worthy of an exhibition. to cut a long story short, this friday morning i bought a ticket to watch himesh reshammiya's latest shot at what another wise man said, 'sabko aati nahi, meri jaati nahi..' it's called teraa surroor -- director shawn arranha's relentless (and brainless) tribute to a song that a composer, singer, lyricist, producer and actor crooned in his decade-old album aap kaa surroor (also the name of his acting debut) whose music videos featured the likes of deepika padukone and minissha lamba. in teraa surroor, directed by shawn arranha, himesh fashions himself an action hero. which means he spends virtually every moment of the film wearing tight ganjis, and he’s occasionally shirtless. that wouldn’t be such a problem if he’d put some effort into the fight scenes. but those sequences are a blur of quick cuts, slick sound effects, and stylish posturing with guns. you never once spot what even faintly looks like a convincing kick or punch, although many bad guys are sent flying into the air. the film sees himesh’s character, raghu, an undercover assassin, plot his fianc’s escape from a dublin prison when she’s falsely framed on drug trafficking charges by a mysterious troublemaker. between himesh and model farah karimaee (who plays his love interest), they have a grand total of one expression throughout the film, and the word to describe it is ‘blank’.
View all reviews on Teraa Surroor

Review Posted on : 15 Mar 2016
10 Cloverfield Lane
(According to Kanishk Mathur 10 Cloverfield Lane is a 4 star movie)
you may have heard that the movie '10 cloverfield lane' didn't start out as a sequel to the 2008 'cloverfield' surprise sleeper horror film. and i must admit it would have been just as good standing on its own without the cloverfield brand. but who can argue the addition of mary elizabeth winstead to the brand? as such nothing is lost with the 2008 connection. those of you who have seen the first movie might even feel a little reminiscent tingle of anticipation as you await visual confirmation of the unseen monster. you might also be pleasantly or even horrifically surprised to find the movie is in rare form for horror flicks these days as it blends the thriller and horror genres to leave you constantly teetering on the edge of your seat. photo by michele k. short/paramount pictures via ap the plot is filled with the kind of suspense you don't mind feeling as the twisting story line builds toward a climax that does not disappoint. and by that time the movie is over. and your sitting back asking yourself whether you would have made the same choices as the characters. because the end of the movie is when you finally decide whether you would have been safer inside with the crazy man or outside with........ here's what j.j. abrams had to say about casting john goodman and mary elizabeth winstead, the great jobs they did nailing the characters, and why the movie was so successfully scary:
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Review Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
(According to Kanishk Mathur Aligarh is a 4 star movie)
the film is inspired by the real life ordeal of 64-year-old professor siras (played by manoj bajpayee), who was suspended by the aligarh university for being homosexual. he was ostracised by the society at large and subjected to physical and psychological torture for his sexual preference. rookie journalist dipu sebastian (rajkummar rao) is the man who sees him for what he really is. aligarh is their journey. while it is melancholic, the film doesn't resort to melodrama to evoke empathy. aligarh's heart lies in the beauty of its silences and the unspoken words and unrushed emotions shared between its lead characters. while decriminalising homosexuality is an underlying message, the film essentially revolves around companionship and loneliness, reminiscent of aparna sen's masterpiece 36 chowringhee lane. hansal mehta captures the inner turmoil and unrest of siras in the most understated manner. most importantly, he gives manoj bajpayee the role of a lifetime and the latter infuses soul to his character. bajpayee's tearful eyes display an array of emotions — sorrow, vulnerability, angst and fear. scenes where he is seen reciting poetry in fluent marathi and being immersed in lata mangeshkar's songs all by himself, is work of pure genius. these will go down in history as one of the most soul-stirring cinematic moments. while bajpayee drives the film, rao delivers an equally compelling performance. you look at siras through his eyes as he shapes your perception of the man. satya rai nagpaul's cinematography and karan kulkarni's background score highlight the isolation that haunts siras. apurva asrani's heartfelt writing too, deserves a mention. "the eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages", this remarkable quote by virginia woolf pretty much sums up the film. aligarh stays with you much after you see it, especially for bajpayee and his nuanced portrayal of a man brutally put to shame by an intrusive and insensitive society. it's subtlety, redefined.
View all reviews on Aligarh

Review Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
Jai Gangaajal
(According to Kanishk Mathur Jai Gangaajal is a 4 star movie)
just before the interval, jai gangaajal is tantalisingly poised. an innocent girl is raped and left hanging on a tree. the minor plays a pivotal role in the film's plot, that of politicians and corporate men in cahoots with each other as they play land mafia to the poor farmers of a small town in madhya pradesh. the first half is a solid setup. we're introduced to a beguiling range of characters - wily politicians, their thug brothers and friends, corrupt cops, activists, and innocent farmers. these stereotypes are efficiently used by the film's writers and director to establish the plot. it is by no means gritty cinema (note the background music when a goon at a road rally molests a local teenage girl, and the thundering score when priyanka chopra's abha mathur comes to her rescue), but it is undeniably effective. making his acting debut with this film is its director, prakash jha. he plays a cop, bhola nath singh, who has built a wealthy empire by servicing the local politician. singh is a savvy character. he is not evil, but does not hesitate to put his interests above the rest. mr jha has a physically arresting persona, one that suits the duality of his character to the tee. as his last few films have shown, taking a socially relevant theme within the parameters of a bollywood movie has been prakash jha's favored genre. he has gone about this template almost religiously over the last decade, with mixed critical and commercial acclaim. with jai gangaajal, the results seem to be along predictable lines. for all the initial positives, the second half is unable to sustain the pacing. simply put, it is missing the material to justify its 160-minute run time. two things in particular are problematic. for all the attention that the issue of land grabbing gets in the first half, the importance almost disappears post intermission. what should have continued to be the thrust of the narrative is relegated to the background, with the focus shifting to a more personal, vendetta driven conflict between babloo yadav (the villainous politician) and singh, with priyanka chopra becoming the third wheel in the dynamic. you miss the larger context that was propping up in the film, and the shift is not smooth enough to be missed. it does not help that every time the writers feel the need to whip up some emotion, they hang a character. secondly, priyanka's abha mathur is surprisingly one-dimensional. not once do we get a glimpse into any part of her personal or professional life, only getting to watch her beat up goons or lecture the corrupt cop, singh, to change his ways. the track is repititive, both, in the narrative and in its visual depiction. unlike mr jha's character, priyanka has a zero emotional or narrative graph. the viewer doesn't feel invested in her actions or her story. the film is technically average and the dubbing is noticeably off on several occasions. mr jha's "supporting role" probably gets equal, if not more screen time than the actual lead, and could have done with a sharper edit. the shots, in general, lack inspiration. if there's only one way to show priyanka's jeep leaving the police station, or reveal a hanging body, why show the scene so many times? small things like varying the physical setting of certain scenes could have lifted the film, and it's detailing like this that is missed the most. prakash jha before the camera has an undoubtedly better run in jai gangaajal than prakash jha behind the camera. it may be by design or by default, but it leaves the film on middling ground.
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Review Posted on : 12 Mar 2016

Joke Posted By Kanishk Mathur

More Latest Joke

Ek Ghanta

ek bar bahu reciepe book me dekhkar khana bana rahi thi
uski saas ne fridge khola aur bahu se phucha ki ye mandir ka ghanta fridge main kyu rakha hai..
tab bahu ne kaha ki is book main likha hai.. in sabhi chejo ka mishran bana ke ek ghanta fridge main rakhe...

Views : 695    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 25 Mar 2016
More Cricket Joke

Gutthi - Cricket

gutthi - cricket
match - india
india - dhoni
dhoni - century
century - bda target
bda target - gutthi - cricket
match - india
india - dhoni
dhoni - century
century - bda target
bda target - bekar bowler
bekar bowler. - ishant sharma
ishant sharma - run pitae
run pitae - india haara
india hara - thoko galiya. :d

Views : 561    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 16 Mar 2016
More Cricket Joke


**made for sir sachin tendulkar **
tera pitch par utarna.
tera dangerous balls par brilliant shots khelna.
tera fantastic footwork ka use karna.
nahi bhoolunga main.
jab tak hai jaan...
jab tak hai jaan...
opponents ko pressure mein laana.
teri gentleman ship dikhana.
tera centuries par helmet aur bat uthane se.
mohabbat karunga main..
jab tak hai jaan..
jab tak hai jaan...!!! :)

Views : 499    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 16 Mar 2016
More Latest Joke

Ek lavz hai..

ek lafz h (mohabbat)
ise kr ke dekho tum tadap na jao to kehna !
ek lafz h (muqaddar)
is se lad ke dekho tum har na jao to kehna !
ek lafz h (wafa)
zamane me nhi milti.. kahi dhoond to kehna !
ek lafz h (aansu)
dil me chupa kr dekho..tumhari aakhon se na nikleto kehna !
ek lafz h (judai)
ise seh kr to dekho. tum toot ke bikhar na jao to kehna !

Views : 458    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 15 Mar 2016
More Cricket Joke

To Stay with

judge: do you want to stay with your mom?
child: no. she beats me.
judge: then do you want to stay with your dad?
child: no. he beats me too.
judge: do you want to stay with your grandparents?
child: no, they also beat me.
judge: ok. so do you want to stay with your uncle?
child: no. they beat me too
judge: ok. so tell me who you want to stay with?
child: i want to stay with mumbai indians.
they dont beat anybody

Views : 986    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 13 Mar 2016
More Cricket Joke

Bachpan Ke Cricket Rules

1. 8 eenton (bricks) ki wicket hogi.

2. first ball try hogi.

3. battin team umpiring karegi.

4. baal deewar ko direct lagi to six aur direct baahar gayi to out.

5. last batsman akela batting kar sakta hai.

6. jo beech mein game chhodega usse kal nahi khilayenge.

7. jo ball baahar phenkega woh khud lekar aayega aur nahi mili to khareedkar layega.

8. chhote bachche sirf fielding karenge, unhein last mein batting denge.

9. jab andhera ho jaayega to slow ball karaai jaayegi.

10. deewar ko lag kar catch hua to not out hoga.

11. 3 ball lagaatar wide to over cancel.

12. jo jeetega woh agli baar batting karega.

13. jiska bat hoga wohi opening karega.

Views : 759    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 13 Mar 2016
More Latest Joke


husband wife chori ke topic par baat kar rahe the

husband : jo insan chori karta hai, wo baad mein zarur pachhtaata hai.

wife (romantic mood mein) : aur tumne jo shaadi se pehle meri neendein churaai thi unke baare mein kya khayal hai?

husband: keh to raha hoon, jo chori karta hai wo baad mein pachhtata zarur hai.

Views : 572    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Rajinikanth Joke

C and C++

now all the c and c++ programs will EXECUTE even with errors,
just include the header file, “rajnikanth.h“

Views : 574    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Rajinikanth Joke

Ek chutki Sindoor

girl (romantically) to rajnikanth: 1 chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano?
rajnikanth : 0.00078924576 rs. per gram.
don`t mess with rajni!

Views : 524    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Rajinikanth Joke

Rajinikanth Compass

why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards north?
becoz rajnikanth lives in the south and no one can point at him.

Views : 1045    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Rajinikanth Joke

Andha Kanoon

ek baar ek judge ne rajnikanth ko crime karte hue dekh liya..
to kya..?

tabse kanoon andha ho gaya..

Views : 728    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Cricket Joke

India's batting Line Up

india's batting line up
7.o palanhare,
8.nirgun aur nyare,
9.tumare bin hamara
10.kauno nahee

Views : 672    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Girls-Boys Joke

Ladki Ki Judai

ladki saath ho toh restaurant ka bill
ladki door ho toh mobile ka bill


ladki hamesha ke liye hi door ho jaye toh
daru ka bill

isliye na lagao dil, na aayega bill..

Views : 646    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Pappu Joke

Pappu ki class teacher

class teacher pareshan hokar pappu ki shikayat principal sir se karne gaye.
class teacher: sir, yeh pappu ka kuchh karo. din ba-din bahut badmash hote ja raha hai woh. pappu ko mein aur nahin jhel sakta. ab action lene ka time aa gaya hai.
principal: to bolo, kya action lu ?
teacher: mera tabadala karva do…!

Views : 503    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Pappu Joke

Pappu ke Marks

pappu ki maa – aji sunte ho, baju wali pinky 99\\% marks lekar class mein first aai hai ?

pappu ke papa – achchha ! baki ke 1\\% marks kahaa gaye ?

pappu ki maa – wo hamara pappu le aaya hai … !!!

Views : 491    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016
More Latest Joke

Man's day

सब पूछ रहे है पुरुष दिवस कब है ??

अरे भाई आ रहा है अपना भी त्यड़हार…..

“1 मई को मजदूर दिवस” !!

Views : 419    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 12 Mar 2016

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